Good-bye, My Brother

We awoke to frost on the fields on September 14, 2013, and a chilly 34 degrees (that's Fahrenheit), which was a bit of a shock after temps topping the 90s just a few days earlier.

My brother had passed away the afternoon before, on September 13. It was a rather sudden death and the reality of it was only beginning to sink in, so life was moving in slow motion for me on the following morning, despite the fact that I rose early. The world seemed changed in many ways, and yet remained so constant and sure.

On that morning, I peered into the slowly rising mist that obscured the distant landscapes, and I thought I may have just caught a glimmer of him there, peering back at me. Such a thin veil separates us. 

The low light of the early rising sun turned the dewy field grasses at my feet into shimmery chandeliers. There was no breeze.  A lone sand crane flew overhead and disappeared into the distant sky. I stood in that quiet space and just stared… those small lights at my feet, reminding me that His word is a lamp to my feet, a light to be trusted. 

And then surprisingly quickly, the mist rose up and was gone, and it was just blue skies.

We, all of us, cope and grieve in various ways. That morning, and those fields spoke to me. I am so blessed to live where the play of weather in nature can speak, and I can hear so many lessons there, and find comfort in that quiet space. I take photos to remind me of the very goodness that surrounds me. My God lovingly speaks to me in language I understand.  He uses so many ways to reveal Himself to me...  not always the same ways, but always the same loving God.

This morning, on September 14, 2013, He was speaking clearly and my grieving heart was comforted just a little. 

We live, we love, we pass on. Our Faith sustains us.

May it be well with you today.

Take Heed

In the agricultural world, harvest is a time of reaping, and a good harvest is often the sign of good planning and hard work. The same holds true in other industries, too. Success is often the result of our good efforts and hard work, and certainly comes very little to those who do not make an effort. We know that we must work if we want results. But it is not a good idea to take all the credit, or assume that we control our fate. We know that circumstances must fall into place to make our efforts worthwhile. We know that "luck" often plays a big role in the process.

When things are going well, it is easy to rely on our own judgement and to accept that our good fortune is the result of our own cleverness. When we face difficulty, we are more apt to cry out for assistance. But it is so important in times of prosperity to remain humble and accept our circumstances as the result of God's providence and mercy. So much of life is hidden from us. To remain faithful in our trust, no matter if we abase or abound, is the key to calm and peace.

We are exhorted to remember and be grateful through the words of Moses:

"Take heed, lest you forget the Lord your God by not keeping his ordinances and statutes...
lest, when you have eaten and are full, and have built excellent houses and live in them, and when your herds and flocks multiply and your silver and gold is multiplied, and all that you have is multiplied, then your heart be lifted up and you forget the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage, who led you through the great and terrible wilderness, with its fiery serpents and scorpions and thirsty ground when there was not water, who brought you water out of the flinty rock, who fed you in the wilderness with manna which your fathers did not know, that he might humble you and test you, to do you good in the end. Beware, lest you say in your heart, 'My power and the might of my hand has gotten me this wealth.' You shall remember the Lord your God for it is he who gives you power to get wealth; that he may confirm his covenant which he swore to your fathers, as at this day."

-Deuteronomy 8:11-18

Wisdom Speaks

The first reading from the Mass on Sunday, July 17, 2011 was from the book of Wisdom:

"There is no god besides you who have the care of all,
that you need show you have not unjustly condemned.
For your might is the source of justice;
your mastery over all things makes you lenient to all.
For you show your might when the perfection of your power is disbelieved;
and in those who know you, you rebuke temerity.
But though you are master of might, you judge with clemency,
and with much lenience you govern us;
for power, whenever you will, attends you.
And you taught your people, by these deeds,
that those who are just must be kind;
and you gave your children good ground for hope
that you would permit repentance for their sins."
- Wisdom 12:13, 16-19

God has no need to prove Himself to us. His might is the "source of justice", it is the measure of what is just and right. And yet His "mastery over all things makes Him lenient to all." That is a profound thing to consider. If our all powerful God shows His leniency toward us, we are obligated to do the same to our fellowman, and fellow creatures. Those who are strong should protect the weak.

The passage from Wisdom spoke to me on many levels today, but perhaps the most relevant to my circumstances at present was this: "In those who know you, you rebuke temerity." For those who are in relationship with God should not exhibit temerity. They are, after all, His. This is different from arrogance and free of caprice. Those who walk with Him should recall that they are in good hands.

If our God is just and cares for us, and if he shows us mercy and has provided a means of forgiveness, why should we be timid, fearful or insecure? Why exhibit temerity? He rightly rebukes this in us because it reveals a small faith in His providence. It is as though we have forgotten who He is! Rather, we should remain confident in the assurance that whatever befalls us, He will be there with us. He is our source of all that is good.

Rend Your Hearts, Not Your Garments, and Return to Me

Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of Lent today, Feb 17, 2010.

This is a flower pic, taken a couple years ago, which I've converted to this black and white image. Just as I have stripped away the color from this image, during this season of Lent, we now strip away ourselves to find more of the genuine, and less of the facades. We quiet those external noises that drown out the voice of our Creator. We gladly make sacrifices because we find our truer selves in so doing. And we turn our hearts toward God and others. This is the way we were meant to be. This is how we were designed.

We are not perfect, but there is beauty in our imperfection. We are not whole, but He can make up what is lacking.

Like the tulip above, we are open, and ready.

"Here I am, Lord. Your servant is listening."

As I woke today, I thought of St. Paul. He had many reasons to feel secure in his relationship with God. Born a Jew, circumcised on the eighth day, years of zealous (overzealous?) service within his tradition... But his worldly standing did not grant him access to the One he desired. All that effort to be good and holy... fell short. Paul tells us that knowing Jesus was worth more than all of his public position and standing. Paul's relationship with Jesus was the thing he valued most. St. Paul is a credible witness. Knowing all that he knows, he tells the Philippians (3:8-10), "I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as refuse, in order that I may gain Christ...being found in him, not having a righteousness of my own, based on law, but that which is through faith in Christ...that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that if possible, I may attain the resurrection form the dead."

We fast during Lent because it gives us great joy to be joined with Jesus in his own selflessness. While it may cause us temporary pain or difficulty, our eyes are looking toward the prize, the goal. That is, we are looking toward Jesus, himself. Our faith sustains us when He seems quiet. This is why, as Catholics, we are pleased to embrace small (or great) sufferings for we know that they are good teachers. We are not afraid of hardship. Our sacrifices teach us to be patient, and to wait in faith.

One more thing about St. Paul is that he leaves the outcome of his soul with Jesus. "...that if possible, I may attain the resurrection from the dead." He doesn't boast that it is his. If he boasts at all, he boasts only in his trust, in his relationship, in his faith in Jesus.

So many times it is difficult to trust. When He seems quiet, or we feel distant. That is when we must call on the virtue of patience, and rely on His timing. God is not a genie to be called forth from some shiny lamp. He is God. We must be his patient servants.

God bless any of you who stop to read these words. Those of you who observe Lent and those of you who do not. We are all His creatures.