Good-bye, My Brother

We awoke to frost on the fields on September 14, 2013, and a chilly 34 degrees (that's Fahrenheit), which was a bit of a shock after temps topping the 90s just a few days earlier.

My brother had passed away the afternoon before, on September 13. It was a rather sudden death and the reality of it was only beginning to sink in, so life was moving in slow motion for me on the following morning, despite the fact that I rose early. The world seemed changed in many ways, and yet remained so constant and sure.

On that morning, I peered into the slowly rising mist that obscured the distant landscapes, and I thought I may have just caught a glimmer of him there, peering back at me. Such a thin veil separates us. 

The low light of the early rising sun turned the dewy field grasses at my feet into shimmery chandeliers. There was no breeze.  A lone sand crane flew overhead and disappeared into the distant sky. I stood in that quiet space and just stared… those small lights at my feet, reminding me that His word is a lamp to my feet, a light to be trusted. 

And then surprisingly quickly, the mist rose up and was gone, and it was just blue skies.

We, all of us, cope and grieve in various ways. That morning, and those fields spoke to me. I am so blessed to live where the play of weather in nature can speak, and I can hear so many lessons there, and find comfort in that quiet space. I take photos to remind me of the very goodness that surrounds me. My God lovingly speaks to me in language I understand.  He uses so many ways to reveal Himself to me...  not always the same ways, but always the same loving God.

This morning, on September 14, 2013, He was speaking clearly and my grieving heart was comforted just a little. 

We live, we love, we pass on. Our Faith sustains us.

May it be well with you today.

September 11, 2011. Ten years later...

Yesterday was the 10th anniversary of the terrorist attack on the United States. Those living in New York City, those working in Washington D.C. and those traveling by air that day were vulnerable in ways which the world had never conceived. The nation watched in horror as civilians signaled for help but couldn't be saved in time, and died in an inferno before our eyes. We ached with the all of the country as we witnessed the first responders bravely enter the Twin Towers in an attempt to help those trapped inside, and then saw that they would never come out again. We can hear their voices in radio transmissions, their last words recorded. We saw images of our nation's capitol under attack before we understood exactly what was happening. And we learned of the heroic actions of a plane full of travelers who banded together to stop what would have been a second attack on Washington D.C. if they had not sacrificed themselves to prevent it.

We struggled to wrap our minds around the evil that had conceived of this blatant act of terror. And I'm not only referring to Osama Bin Laden, but to the very real evil that inspired the idea and recruited willing accomplices to carry it out. Osama Bin Laden was a tool. Sadly, he was a tool of evil and a perpetrator of lies, but he was a player in a much larger theater than even he knew.

We all must take care that we not become so full of zeal that we miss the very heart of the God we claim to serve. It is a danger, particularly in this age, when zealots are aplenty. The thing about zealots is that they are so self-righteous that this trait alone gives them away. None of us should be that sure of ourselves before God. It is humility that is the hallmark of God's true followers. They possess a humility not without conviction, but humility that recognizes their personal limitations and the greatness of the One who Is. They can be found in many religions. It is a shame that so many, who perhaps are or were well meaning, are led astray by lies, promises and empty reassurances. It is not the proud who will inherit the earth. It is not the self-righteous who will earn God's favor. It is in humility and dependence on God alone, and trusting in His providence, His justice, His will. We do not force God's hand.

So yesterday morning, on the tenth anniversary of 9/11, our hearts were turned to remembering those who died. All of them.

This was my view outside yesterday morning, September 11, 2011. No editing. Calm and quiet. Somber. A fog hung over the sky, obscuring the view. Ten years ago we were shocked and horrified, saddened and confused. It's like it was yesterday, at times. The years have provided us time and perspective and yet we still try to understand and learn something from this tragedy. We remember and honor those who died. May there be peace in our world, peace in our hearts.



Today, September 12, 2011, provided a new view. This is the same tree that I photographed yesterday in the fog, yet this is a more hopeful image. In time, the fog of our grief lifts; it rises and we see that the sun still shines in the sky, illuminating our view. Be patient with yourselves and with others. Pray that our vision may be clear.



And still, later this afternoon, this was the view out our back window. A full rainbow across the sky. A promise, written by His own hand.

Lessons from the Maple Tree, Lessons from the Saints

"You do not need to know precisely what is happening, or exactly where it is all going. What you need is to recognize the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment, and to embrace them with courage, faith and hope."
- Thomas Merton


"Finally I am coming to the conclusion that my highest ambition is to be what I already am. That I will never fulfill my obligation to surpass myself unless I first accept myself, and if I accept myself fully in the right way, I will already have surpassed myself."
— Thomas Merton



"If you want to identify me,ask me not where I live,or what I like to eat, or how I comb my hair, but ask me what I am living for, in detail,ask me what I think is keeping me from living fully for the thing I want to live for."
- Thomas Merton






"Humility is the foundation of all the other virtues hence, in the soul in which this virtue does not exist there cannot be any other virtue except in mere appearance."
- St. Augustine





"MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone."
- Thomas Merton







‎"Some seek knowledge for the sake of knowledge: that is curiosity. Others seek knowledge that they may themselves be known: that is vanity. But there are still others who seek knowledge in order to serve and edify others, and that is charity."
- St. Bernard of Clairvaux





Note: Thomas Merton is not regarded as an official Saint within the Catholic Church, meaning that his life has not undergone the scrutiny of a formal Canonization process. He is, however, regarded with respect as a prolific and profound Catholic who through his writings and journals conveyed many spiritual insights which have merit and value for all of us. He is most certainly a "saint", as all of us are who seek to conform our lives to the teachings of Jesus and to live in the Father's will.

Hope and Promise

In April, Spring came again to our northern climate and the grey and white landscape was replaced with colors and shapes, and the birds returned to their singing. Our moods lifted and the possibilities of all that we could accomplish filled our spirits like blood rushing into our head. Our thoughts ran swiftly like the spring streams, and ideas flowed with renewed energy. The world had awakened, and we with it. The doors and windows of our houses opened and the neighbors stepped into their yards, and blinked away the drear that had been our winter. Perhaps better things lay ahead after all.

Wisdom Speaks

The first reading from the Mass on Sunday, July 17, 2011 was from the book of Wisdom:

"There is no god besides you who have the care of all,
that you need show you have not unjustly condemned.
For your might is the source of justice;
your mastery over all things makes you lenient to all.
For you show your might when the perfection of your power is disbelieved;
and in those who know you, you rebuke temerity.
But though you are master of might, you judge with clemency,
and with much lenience you govern us;
for power, whenever you will, attends you.
And you taught your people, by these deeds,
that those who are just must be kind;
and you gave your children good ground for hope
that you would permit repentance for their sins."
- Wisdom 12:13, 16-19

God has no need to prove Himself to us. His might is the "source of justice", it is the measure of what is just and right. And yet His "mastery over all things makes Him lenient to all." That is a profound thing to consider. If our all powerful God shows His leniency toward us, we are obligated to do the same to our fellowman, and fellow creatures. Those who are strong should protect the weak.

The passage from Wisdom spoke to me on many levels today, but perhaps the most relevant to my circumstances at present was this: "In those who know you, you rebuke temerity." For those who are in relationship with God should not exhibit temerity. They are, after all, His. This is different from arrogance and free of caprice. Those who walk with Him should recall that they are in good hands.

If our God is just and cares for us, and if he shows us mercy and has provided a means of forgiveness, why should we be timid, fearful or insecure? Why exhibit temerity? He rightly rebukes this in us because it reveals a small faith in His providence. It is as though we have forgotten who He is! Rather, we should remain confident in the assurance that whatever befalls us, He will be there with us. He is our source of all that is good.

Surprised By New Life

This is an orchid I bought last year. It was beautiful then, but, afterwards went dormant. I tried to care for it during the winter, but have little experience with orchid care. I gave it a bit of water and a western facing window, but not much else. For months it looked like a pot of dirt with some paltry looking leaves.

I was so surprised early this spring when it began to send up a shoot of promise! Soon there were buds followed by beautiful white phalaenopsis blooms! Life sometimes goes dormant for us, too, but patience yields some surprises for those who maintain hope.

Winter Snow!

This picture is from last year but it looks pretty much the same today only with more snow. We've really had a punishing snowfall over the last several days, and today I was stuck in the driveway and it took about 3 hours to get it cleared. Even then it's only one lane wide and the road at the end isn't great. We get a lot of drifting in these parts and it's not a bad day to stay home. There's much to be done before the holiday, but of course much of it requires going out. No worries, though.

Cleaning up at home is good therapy for me and I have gotten a few things done that have waited for my attention for months. Boxes moved from the hallway, that sort of thing.

I'm over my previous melancholy about my mother that hits me now and then. When it's daylight, I am always more forward thinking.

The passage of time, though... That's something to ponder. We are born, we live, we die. We accomplish, we give. I hope we reflect. The quiet of reflection, of prayer, gives needed direction to our activity. It's a good thing. Snow days can slow us down, divert us a bit. Just staying warm is enough.

Into this darkness, our darkness, came the One who would make all things new. Advent is a time to consider how much we needed this One. How much we need Him still.

Spring!

Today I am remembering spring.... and all the hope and joy I felt as the earth sprang to life all around me. I found this image on one of my photo CDs, taken May 1, 2006, just over six months ago. Half way through the year again, and we are seeing the end of the growing season. Instead all around us in the northern hemisphere is the coming of dormancy. The body is fading, dying perhaps, but the spirit, the real life is only sleeping. It is an opportunity for more reflection.

"Whoever seeks to preserve his life will lose it, but whoever loses it will save it."

Luke 17 (from the daily readings for today)

I wish you all a lovely Thanksgiving.