I feel like I live between the spaces. So much of what happens in our lives, happens between things.

I sometimes feel I am living life in the shadows, too, where the lighting isn't as bright and the way isn't as clear.

I sometimes feel that I am weightless, and that I leave no footsteps when I walk, because my life is so insignificant in the grand scheme of things. There are events happening on a much bigger stage, and our influence on that stage may seem very small.

But I sometimes feel that I can do great things, powerful things, things that make a difference for others, for us, for now. And I think again, of the many people who have done great things by simply doing the next thing, and by being faithful to do the next thing, over and over again.

Animals and God's Other Creatures

When I saw they were in the pasture, I called out to them a friendly, "Helloooow...!" There were three horses and two  donkeys. They turned to look at me and then came over to see me better. The first donkey eyed me curiously and turned away. He disappeared back toward the barn but returned moments later with his buddy. Those two are like twins, and they move and stand together in the most amusing fashion. I just love seeing all of these animals.

The animal world fascinates most of us as we explore the personalities and intelligence of the diverse creatures with whom we share our planet. I think of us as interconnected, all here with a different role to play, but yet all with the same purpose: to reflect the qualities of the Creator, by using our intellect and insights to good purpose.

The animal world is full and varied from the simplest single celled forms to the more complex creatures, with a range of qualities and personalities as diverse in between!

The invisible world is said to be the same, populated by intelligent creatures, angels and spiritual beings, of many bearings and features, with intelligence and purpose of their own. This may sound fantastical, of course. I recall a time in my life when the thought of angels and invisible creatures posed a real stumbling block to me. But it seems quite an acceptable construct to me now, and more acceptable as I peered back at these magnificent animals on the this past January morning.

I have already concluded that my dog is smart, with his own unique feelings, and affectionate qualities I regard as good. So you could say that my interactions with the animals around me have added substance to my faith in that mysterious world that can't be seen with the naked eye. It is not so difficult to understand that the created world has levels of intelligence in both the visible and invisible world, and that which I see is a reflection and lesson about the very large portion of Creation that I cannot see.

Whatever your own conclusions, aren't these horses and donkeys neat?

Photo from January 28, 2013.

Song of Simeon

At nighttime, I often sing the Song of Simeon in my head... A prayer of hope fulfilled and of faith.

"Now Lord, you can let your servant go in peace, according to your word. For my eyes have seen your saving deed, which you have set before all men: a light for revelation to the Gentiles, and for glory to your people Israel."

The Good Shepherd

The "Good Shepherd" magnolia.

We have a loving Father who cares about us, who cares for us.

Having heard and read about the Gosnell trial and the atrocious details, and seeing the report on the news last night as a jury deliberates this case, I am wondering how we can continue to deny that there is something wrong in our national thinking about the abortion issue. Like so many, I am wondering how this case will be determined and what it reveals about the American psyche.

Here, in this photo, behind the magnolias, is a depiction of the Resurrected Christ. Christ, who is our Good Shepherd, who seeks out the lamb who is lost, who has strayed. Sometimes we know we are lost or have wandered, and other times we are oblivious. This seems to be our current condition. I have no doubt that many who support abortion, do so with good intentions. However, an act that is inherently in error, cannot be correct, whatever the end may be. Abortion is not a solution, and can never be seen that way.

Our Creative Father can help bring good from our mistakes, though. Even the most egregious. This is my hope, and my prayer.

I took this photo last night on my way home from work. The St. Thomas the Apostle Catholic Church magnolia is probably the biggest one in the area. It's certainly one of the most beautiful.

photos from May 3,  2013.

Perspective

Blackbirds perch along the roofline of this vine covered barn. From there they see the landscape from a different perspective than I do. They see the cattails and tractors, but from their position, they see the locations of things with better understanding and clarity, while I rely on my very limited depth perception.

It was a beautiful morning when I awoke on Saturday, and I lay in bed admiring the sunshine that filtered through the curtains. The sun was still low in the sky.

I was filled with contentment after a great evening the night before with my daughter, who was visiting from the west coast. Dinner at our local favorite restaurant, followed by a movie, and then coffee shop conversation. So many miles melt away. Being together allows us to do simple tasks, and have conversations about both the mundane and meaningful.

The west coast is so very far away. You can't even see it from here! At least not clearly! Time with my family is the best. It is where I feel most myself, most at ease, and where I can explore ideas and gain so much from their learning, too. We are grateful that she made the effort to come back to Michigan to visit her sister and family. We know she has work and commitments far away. But being together is wonderful.

And if I position myself from a good vantage point, just the right vantage point, I can see we are not so far apart. Indeed.

Birthday, 2013 Litany

I slept in this morning to catch up a little after working a long stretch of days. I feel so much better with the extra sleep!!

The sun is shining and the temperature warming up this morning, my birthday. A gift for certain! How blessed I am!

Here is my 2013 Litany:

Today, I am grateful for so many gifts.

I am grateful for life, for my parents and family and all the instruction I received from them as I grew up, and for the earliest sense of identity and belonging they gave me.

I am grateful for the influence of the Catholic Church in my early years, for the sacraments of Batpism, Penance and Communion, all before I was 7 years old, and Confirmation a few years later! I loved that I could slip away on my bike and go to our church during the summer to sit quietly by myself in that holy place and pray.

I am grateful for the friends I had in elementary school and for the acceptance I experienced in their company. I am grateful for having a "best" friend in those early years, and for shared secrets and adventures, and a neighborhood "gang" with whom we explored the world! Our "gang's"adventures rivaled any of those in The Little Rascals! (Younger people may need to look up the reference.)

I am grateful for the move our family made to another town, even though it was painful at the time, and for the new friends I made in middle school and high school-- friends that are dear to me now.

I'm grateful for Young Life, and the encouragement I received to read scripture and to pray together with my peers. I am grateful for the awkwardness I felt in high school, which reminds me how awkward we often still feel as adults, and helps me find empathy. I'm grateful for my high school teachers. And I'm grateful for the difficulties and confusion I experienced during those years, for they brought lessons and insights that are with me still.

I'm grateful that my fellow classmates were spared going to the Vietnam War, although the young men had draft numbers, and some were nearly called. I'm grateful that the Vietnam War taught us to honor our young military people who continue to make sacrifices for our country because they are asked to do so, and not because they understand all the political and national interests that motivate our leaders.

I'm grateful for the gift of becoming a mother, three times! I'm grateful for the chance to learn that I could love someone else so deeply that my own life would seem unimportant in comparison I am grateful for the chance I had to hold young babies in my arms for hours, and to reassure them over and over again that they were loved no matter what, and then, over years, to confirm that no matter what our circumstances, we would always be for one another. I am grateful that I could teach my children, and thereby teach myself, what is important in life. And I am grateful to have lived to see my children's children. So grateful.

I am grateful for the humility I have learned through my mistakes and the consequences we must accept for our actions.

I am grateful for the love of my husband and his blindness to my faults.

I am grateful for my good health, not something to be taken for granted.

I am grateful for meaningful work and for having everything I need.

I am grateful that we live in a country that values independence and freedom, and that so many of my fellow citizens are trying to work together to preserve the lives and God-given rights of all persons, regardless of age, race, or religion, and to ensure that our homeland is secure from lawless acts no matter how great or small.

I am grateful for the years I have lived and the ones I may have left to live. I am grateful to you, and all that makes you who you are.

I feel so blessed, like a tree, planted by streams of water, that yields its fruit in due season.

As you can see, I already have all the gifts I could ever need or want. Today, I am simply grateful.

(photos from April 20, 2013, iPhone)

Take Heed

In the agricultural world, harvest is a time of reaping, and a good harvest is often the sign of good planning and hard work. The same holds true in other industries, too. Success is often the result of our good efforts and hard work, and certainly comes very little to those who do not make an effort. We know that we must work if we want results. But it is not a good idea to take all the credit, or assume that we control our fate. We know that circumstances must fall into place to make our efforts worthwhile. We know that "luck" often plays a big role in the process.

When things are going well, it is easy to rely on our own judgement and to accept that our good fortune is the result of our own cleverness. When we face difficulty, we are more apt to cry out for assistance. But it is so important in times of prosperity to remain humble and accept our circumstances as the result of God's providence and mercy. So much of life is hidden from us. To remain faithful in our trust, no matter if we abase or abound, is the key to calm and peace.

We are exhorted to remember and be grateful through the words of Moses:

"Take heed, lest you forget the Lord your God by not keeping his ordinances and statutes...
lest, when you have eaten and are full, and have built excellent houses and live in them, and when your herds and flocks multiply and your silver and gold is multiplied, and all that you have is multiplied, then your heart be lifted up and you forget the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage, who led you through the great and terrible wilderness, with its fiery serpents and scorpions and thirsty ground when there was not water, who brought you water out of the flinty rock, who fed you in the wilderness with manna which your fathers did not know, that he might humble you and test you, to do you good in the end. Beware, lest you say in your heart, 'My power and the might of my hand has gotten me this wealth.' You shall remember the Lord your God for it is he who gives you power to get wealth; that he may confirm his covenant which he swore to your fathers, as at this day."

-Deuteronomy 8:11-18

Grand Blanc High School 40th Reunion

Last night we had a wonderful opportunity to visit with old friends. I had been asked to make some remarks to our class. Afterwards, people asked if I would post the text somewhere, so here it is. I hope you enjoy the short trip to the past, and back again. :-)

GBHS Class of 1972 40th Reunion: Remarks by Lea Higgins McNulty, August 11, 2012.

I look around at all of us here tonight and I'm so very happy to be among you. It's wonderful to see your faces and renew our friendships. When Mark Zuckerberg created his Facebook enterprise, I don't think he imagined how those of us in our generation would find it such a wonderful tool to stay connected.

I'm also a little humbled by being asked to make some remarks tonight. I bet you didn't see that coming 40 years ago! There are probably some of you who never knew me in high school. For this, I am grateful! When I think of myself in the 1970s, I do so with a lot of cringing. I recall things I said, and just the general angst and insecurity that riddled a tall and lanky high school girl. And many of you were far more focused in school than I was! So often since I left you here, I have thought how much better it would have been had I paid more attention in class.

Looking back on our years at Grand Blanc, I feel nostalgia for days that seem simpler. Isn't that what each generation does? Isn't that what each generation says to the next? "Life was simpler then!" I now recognize that the days and the times in the past were not simpler at all. It was just my perspective in those days, and my relative lack of responsibility at the time that makes it seem so.

Yet there are things from those days that I do miss... I'm sure you feel the same. Mostly, I miss friends and family members who are gone from us now. And I miss the look of things. And I sure miss being in an 18 year old body! But there are many things I don't miss, and I don't think I'd go back and re-do high school.

My family moved to Grand Blanc from Grand Rapids just before we began Junior High. We only lived in Grand Blanc for 6 or 7 years and my parents then returned to Grand Rapids. I was the only one in my family who went through Jr. High and High School at Grand Blanc, and the only one who still lives in Michigan now. Call it destiny or whatever, it seemed that I was to be part of you, part of our class of 1972 at GBHS.

40 years ago, we were all in various stages of insecurity, self-awareness, with unknown potentials. We were a risky bet for sure, and the tail end of the baby boomers, we were ready to "do our thing". For some of us, our futures may have seemed  exciting and promising, and to others of us, the future may have felt overwhelming and uncertain. No matter how different we were from each other at the time, we were all young, inexperienced, and the thing we shared in common was our place in time.

So what was 1972?

Well, as far as the Economy goes:

• The average cost of a gallon of gas was 36¢. But cars only got 13.5 miles/gal, so maybe it's a wash.
• The average income per family in the US had risen to almost $12,000.
   But if you were African American, the average income per family was closer to $7,000 [$6,800]
   And if you were a woman working full time all year, your average income was only $6,000.
• A pair of jeans cost $12
• You could get a cup of coffee for about 10¢
• The Dow Jones closed above 1000 for the first time in history, and averaged 1020
• Inflation was 3.27%

What about Pop Culture?
We didn't have cell phones, personal computers, answering machines, cassette tapes, CDs, or iPods.

In fact, the first pocket calculators came out in 1972 and cost well over $100. LED was new!

Our music was Bob Dylan, Simon and Garfunkel, Don Mclean, Arlo Guthrie, Elton John, the Eagles, The Moody Blues, Led Zeppelin, The Doors, and Cream.

Nightly TV shows included Gunsmoke, Adam 12, Marcus Welby, and a host of variety shows like Paul Lynde, Carol Burnett, Flip Wilson, Laugh-In, and Dean Martin.

We listened to records, or 8-track tapes, or reel to reel tape recorders, and wrote on typewriters, if we were lucky enough to have one.

People wore polyester jump suits, double knit pant suits and were fashionable carrying a clear plastic bubble umbrella that would keep you covered while allowing you to see through it!

The Volkswagen Beetle became the most popular car in history, easily spotted on the road and giving acceptable outlets for our aggression with the "Pee Wee Punch"

The new movies, which have become iconic now, were:
  Dirty Harry, Clockwork Orange, and The Godfather.

On the World Scene:

• Bobby Fischer beat Boris Spassky to become the World Chess Champion
• The largest diamond was mined in Sierra Leone: The Star of Leone, weighing nearly 970 carats!
• Ceylon became an independent republic and changed its named to Sri Lanka
• Idi Amin took control of British firms and interests in Uganda and began his reign of terror
• In 1972 there were major earthquakes in Bingol, Turkey, Ghir, Iraq, and Managua, Nicaragua, leaving thousands dead and thousands more, homeless
• Hurricane Agnes blew through in June of that year killing 117 in the NY and PA region, [particularly in Elmira and Wilkes-Barre]
• It was also the year of the infamous airplane crash in the Andes, where an Uruguayan chartered plane carrying a rugby team, crashed in the mountains in October and were not rescued for 72 days; the story, as you know, prompted books and movies
• The Olympics took place in Munich, Germany, where Mark Spitz won a record breaking 7 Gold Medals, but the year also, where arguably the greatest Olympic tragedy occurred. This was the year of the Munich Massacre, when on Sept 5, Palestinian terrorists broke into the Olympic Village and the residences of the Israeli athletes, and took hostages. The world looked on in horror as 11 Israeli athletes were killed in a 23 hour standoff and an ineffective rescue attempt.

On the National Scene:

• We were in the middle of space exploration. In 1969 we witnessed Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin walk on the moon. Anything seemed possible!

• In 1972 the Space Shuttle program was launched.
  40 years later, today, we're watching as images from Mars are sent from the land rover, "Curiosity"!

• Environmental issues were at the forefront of our minds. We saw the first Earth Day during our high school years, and in 1972 the Federal Water Pollution Control Amendments went into effect.

• Our childhood was peppered with fears of a foreign attack. We grew up through the Cold War, the Cuban missile crisis with subsequent concerns about Soviet missile expansion in Cuba

• We saw the assassinations of President John F. Kennedy, Rev. Martin Luther King Jr., and Senator Robert Kennedy.

• We felt the conflict of the Vietnam war; the young men of our class registered for the draft in our senior year. We watched, in the nightly news, reports of the havoc the war brought on families and our nation. In August of 1972 the last ground troops were pulled out of Vietnam.

• We lived through what is now called the "Nixon Era".
  President Richard Nixon was in office from 1968 through 1974.
  - In 1972, he initiated détente and the anti-ballistic missile treaty with the Soviet Union.
  - He helped to enforce desegregation in the Southern schools.
  - He imposed wage and price controls in an effort to control inflation, and
  - He travelled to China, opening up communications between our two nations after 22 years of hostilities.
  - In 1972, President Nixon ran for a second term against SD Gov. George McGovern, where McGovern lost in a landslide.

• But sadly, we watched as the highest office in the land unravelled before our eyes.
 The Watergate Investigation was broadcast on TV day after day... piecing together the events around 5 White House operatives who had been arrested for burglarizing the headquarters of the Democratic National Committee, and the subsequent coverup which led to the House Judiciary Committee approving the Articles of Impeachment in July 1974. President Nixon resigned in shame in August of 1974 to avoid formal impeachment.

-----------------
That was then. Here we are in 2012. There is a reason we are still here. Look what 40 years of effort can do! Look what we've done.

Some of us have achieved awards and recognition for accomplishments. Some of us, with innovative thinking, have changed the way work gets done. We've spent years in the workplace, and years in our homes. We've created the next generation! We have learned, taught, and given from what we've received. Along the way, we've changed and grown, and learned the importance of our connections with each other. We have wisdom we didn't have 40 years ago!

For the past 20 years, I've worked with cancer patients. The thing I love about my job is that I've been blessed with perspective. My troubles, and I've had my share, are always balanced with the fact that I am still here, still a participant in life. A couple of years ago, I made the decision to really see what is good in this world, and focus on it. And the result has been that I see and record beauty every day; more than I can share. The little pictures I post on Facebook and elsewhere, are mostly to serve as reminders to me of just how blessed I am to be here.

So who is the class of 1972? We are the product of our generation. We are the product of our times. We didn't inherit a perfect world, and we won't leave a perfect world behind. But we hope to leave it a little better just for our having been here. The fact that we are still here is testament that there is more to be done.

I'd like to leave you with a couple quotes from Mother Teresa, who is a personal hero of mine:

"Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We only have today..." "If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one."

Thank you very much.

Thanksgiving, 2011

Life isn't perfect and Scott Peck told us "Life is difficult" in his book The Road Less Travelled. Even so, many of us can admit that there are moments that can feel nearly perfect, where we are content and at peace, if we are open to seeing them, if we are willing to create them. As these Autumn days become shorter and the weather turns more chill, the world may seem darker and dreary at times and my Irish disposition drifts toward melancholy, often despite my effort. What great timing to celebrate Thanksgiving at just this moment! Harvest: the time when we reap the fruits of our labors! This is a time when the world is wrapped in a beauty no one could have anticipated!

Recounting the very real circumstances of our lives today and the blessings we currently enjoy, as well as those blessings from our past, may serve as a quick remedy for self-concern. I have so many things for which I can be grateful this year, not the least of them is my health and the health of my family. Truly we are fortunate.



And yet I have lost good friends, this year, too. Some have endured long illness. Others slipped suddenly from us. I know people who are unemployed and discouraged, some in my own family. I know those who are dealing with serious relationship problems and in pain. And, of course, I know people who are undergoing difficult medical treatments hoping for a cure for cancer. Each of us can recount stories of those who have lost loved ones to war, accidents, or even crimes of violence. The world is not an easy place to be.

We know that life is difficult. We know that it is wrought with emotional hurts and sorrows. This is why we gather together and recount our blessings. You are a blessing to me, and I must be a blessing to you. Our Faith tells us this, and our hearts confirm it!

I really *am* grateful this year. And I pray for all of my family, and for those friends whom I know well or only a little, and for any of you who read this, too.

I pray that we can encounter that place within us that is loving and courageous. That we can hear that Voice that speaks to us reassuringly. May each of us, inspired and armed with our own sense of duty, reach out and take the hands of those around us, and give them something to be grateful for this year and in the future.

The paths we tread are littered with sorrows but leading to glory.

September 11, 2011. Ten years later...

Yesterday was the 10th anniversary of the terrorist attack on the United States. Those living in New York City, those working in Washington D.C. and those traveling by air that day were vulnerable in ways which the world had never conceived. The nation watched in horror as civilians signaled for help but couldn't be saved in time, and died in an inferno before our eyes. We ached with the all of the country as we witnessed the first responders bravely enter the Twin Towers in an attempt to help those trapped inside, and then saw that they would never come out again. We can hear their voices in radio transmissions, their last words recorded. We saw images of our nation's capitol under attack before we understood exactly what was happening. And we learned of the heroic actions of a plane full of travelers who banded together to stop what would have been a second attack on Washington D.C. if they had not sacrificed themselves to prevent it.

We struggled to wrap our minds around the evil that had conceived of this blatant act of terror. And I'm not only referring to Osama Bin Laden, but to the very real evil that inspired the idea and recruited willing accomplices to carry it out. Osama Bin Laden was a tool. Sadly, he was a tool of evil and a perpetrator of lies, but he was a player in a much larger theater than even he knew.

We all must take care that we not become so full of zeal that we miss the very heart of the God we claim to serve. It is a danger, particularly in this age, when zealots are aplenty. The thing about zealots is that they are so self-righteous that this trait alone gives them away. None of us should be that sure of ourselves before God. It is humility that is the hallmark of God's true followers. They possess a humility not without conviction, but humility that recognizes their personal limitations and the greatness of the One who Is. They can be found in many religions. It is a shame that so many, who perhaps are or were well meaning, are led astray by lies, promises and empty reassurances. It is not the proud who will inherit the earth. It is not the self-righteous who will earn God's favor. It is in humility and dependence on God alone, and trusting in His providence, His justice, His will. We do not force God's hand.

So yesterday morning, on the tenth anniversary of 9/11, our hearts were turned to remembering those who died. All of them.

This was my view outside yesterday morning, September 11, 2011. No editing. Calm and quiet. Somber. A fog hung over the sky, obscuring the view. Ten years ago we were shocked and horrified, saddened and confused. It's like it was yesterday, at times. The years have provided us time and perspective and yet we still try to understand and learn something from this tragedy. We remember and honor those who died. May there be peace in our world, peace in our hearts.



Today, September 12, 2011, provided a new view. This is the same tree that I photographed yesterday in the fog, yet this is a more hopeful image. In time, the fog of our grief lifts; it rises and we see that the sun still shines in the sky, illuminating our view. Be patient with yourselves and with others. Pray that our vision may be clear.



And still, later this afternoon, this was the view out our back window. A full rainbow across the sky. A promise, written by His own hand.

Regarding Multiple Birth "Reduction" Procedures

Regarding the article in Slate Magazine: Half-Aborted Why do "reductions" of twin pregnancies trouble pro-choicers?
By William Saletan

SEE ARTICLE IN SLATE HERE.

My initial reaction is horror that anyone pregnant with twins would consider a [sanitized term-->] "reduction". But it's possible to sell any idea, no matter how outrageous it may seem.

I liked the article by William Saletan for its balance, and lack of hyperbole. It was informative even if unsettling.

As I considered it longer, maybe there is some room for encouragement. As stated, multiple birth reduction provides the needed visual that drives home what may appear obvious: that the difference between two children in a multiple pregnancy in which the mother elects a "reduction" is only: gestational time and the mother's will.

With so many who hold a different opinion from my own, I find this encouraging: that a multiple pregnancy reduction makes some who lean Pro-Choice recoil and feel uncomfortable. Because in 9 months, when that mother holds her new baby, she will understand what is difficult to understand: Life is precious, and not cheap. And the connection between a mother and her child is powerfully moving. At that moment, it becomes so much clearer that the child that was "wanted" or "saved" was no different than the one destroyed, and the emotions that follow that great insight will illuminate the soul.

Who among us, which mother, wants to choose which of her children will live and which will die? It is a blessing that we haven't grown so numb as that.

Lessons from the Maple Tree, Lessons from the Saints

"You do not need to know precisely what is happening, or exactly where it is all going. What you need is to recognize the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment, and to embrace them with courage, faith and hope."
- Thomas Merton


"Finally I am coming to the conclusion that my highest ambition is to be what I already am. That I will never fulfill my obligation to surpass myself unless I first accept myself, and if I accept myself fully in the right way, I will already have surpassed myself."
— Thomas Merton



"If you want to identify me,ask me not where I live,or what I like to eat, or how I comb my hair, but ask me what I am living for, in detail,ask me what I think is keeping me from living fully for the thing I want to live for."
- Thomas Merton






"Humility is the foundation of all the other virtues hence, in the soul in which this virtue does not exist there cannot be any other virtue except in mere appearance."
- St. Augustine





"MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone."
- Thomas Merton







‎"Some seek knowledge for the sake of knowledge: that is curiosity. Others seek knowledge that they may themselves be known: that is vanity. But there are still others who seek knowledge in order to serve and edify others, and that is charity."
- St. Bernard of Clairvaux





Note: Thomas Merton is not regarded as an official Saint within the Catholic Church, meaning that his life has not undergone the scrutiny of a formal Canonization process. He is, however, regarded with respect as a prolific and profound Catholic who through his writings and journals conveyed many spiritual insights which have merit and value for all of us. He is most certainly a "saint", as all of us are who seek to conform our lives to the teachings of Jesus and to live in the Father's will.

Hope and Promise

In April, Spring came again to our northern climate and the grey and white landscape was replaced with colors and shapes, and the birds returned to their singing. Our moods lifted and the possibilities of all that we could accomplish filled our spirits like blood rushing into our head. Our thoughts ran swiftly like the spring streams, and ideas flowed with renewed energy. The world had awakened, and we with it. The doors and windows of our houses opened and the neighbors stepped into their yards, and blinked away the drear that had been our winter. Perhaps better things lay ahead after all.

Wisdom Speaks

The first reading from the Mass on Sunday, July 17, 2011 was from the book of Wisdom:

"There is no god besides you who have the care of all,
that you need show you have not unjustly condemned.
For your might is the source of justice;
your mastery over all things makes you lenient to all.
For you show your might when the perfection of your power is disbelieved;
and in those who know you, you rebuke temerity.
But though you are master of might, you judge with clemency,
and with much lenience you govern us;
for power, whenever you will, attends you.
And you taught your people, by these deeds,
that those who are just must be kind;
and you gave your children good ground for hope
that you would permit repentance for their sins."
- Wisdom 12:13, 16-19

God has no need to prove Himself to us. His might is the "source of justice", it is the measure of what is just and right. And yet His "mastery over all things makes Him lenient to all." That is a profound thing to consider. If our all powerful God shows His leniency toward us, we are obligated to do the same to our fellowman, and fellow creatures. Those who are strong should protect the weak.

The passage from Wisdom spoke to me on many levels today, but perhaps the most relevant to my circumstances at present was this: "In those who know you, you rebuke temerity." For those who are in relationship with God should not exhibit temerity. They are, after all, His. This is different from arrogance and free of caprice. Those who walk with Him should recall that they are in good hands.

If our God is just and cares for us, and if he shows us mercy and has provided a means of forgiveness, why should we be timid, fearful or insecure? Why exhibit temerity? He rightly rebukes this in us because it reveals a small faith in His providence. It is as though we have forgotten who He is! Rather, we should remain confident in the assurance that whatever befalls us, He will be there with us. He is our source of all that is good.

The Cellist of Sarajevo, Vedran Smailovic

This image was taken during the war in 1992 in Sarajevo in the partially destroyed National Library. The cello player is local musician Vedran Smailović, who often came to play for free at different funerals during the siege despite the fact that funerals were often targetted by Serb forces. (Mikhail Evstafiev)

In 1991 a terrible war broke out in Bosnia and Herzegovina. The stories of strife and the images that came to us in the nightly news and news magazines captured my imagination and tore at my heart.

Of the many troubling images, one stands out to me still. It was of a man, a musician, a cellist, who in his own outrage and grief, began playing his music in the streets and destruction of Sarajevo.

Please forgive me for even trying to speak of this time, because I do not understand the history of the troubles that led to the terrible war in Bosnia, Croatia, and Herzegovina in the 1990s. I tried to understand and the most I can really grasp is that there were boundary issues, and differences between the cultures that had previously lived together peacefully. The atrocities that followed were something I found horrific, and incomprehensible. Neighbors against neighbors in some instances. And unnecessary cruelty. It left a profound impression on me for many reasons. The same is true for other areas of the war torn world. I will never understand man's inhumanity to man. Greed and self interest do not seem enough to account for the hatred and meanness that wars bring about. However, the image below was something I could understand. I have lost loved ones. I understand grief and loss. Somehow the gesture of playing cello, doing the small thing that one can, to retain a sense of humanity, has left an indelible impression on me of the largeness of the human spirit.

The image below is not mine. It was published in Time Magazine around 1991. I ripped the picture from my copy of Time Magazine back then, and kept it to remind me to pray for those who are living surrounded by grief, and to remind me that there is value in doing whatever we can to elevate the human condition. I have made a significant effort to locate the original and to give credit to the photographer. My best guess is that it was taken by Roger M. Richards.

http://www.lifepositive.com/Mind/Positive_Chronicles/The_cellist_of_Sarajevo.asp

Vedran Smailovic

(click on image for a larger view)





A short movie by Roger M. Richards.

Corn Harvesting in Michigan

The corn was harvested in early December in 2009. This year it was soybeans in the same field. The soybeans were harvested in late October. We don't farm ourselves, but living here closer to the seasons makes me appreciate the effort that is spent on cultivating. We planted a very modest garden of our own this year. When the cucumbers emerged from the vine, it was like a small miracle had taken place. Food came from the earth!

It is funny to me that in only one or two generations we have nearly forgotten what it is to have a vegetable garden and to grow our own food. We are so dependent on others for our basics, that I almost forgot that I can plant and grow myself. It is a great thing to be able to depend on others, for it teaches us to group together. But it seems good to re-learn some basic skills and perhaps some new tricks to make the job easier. I'll be planting more vegetables next year and remembering my grandparents and their own common sense about the garden.

Reminiscing.

Broken Home

At Mass this past Sunday we heard someone share about a good deed done for some children who came from "broken homes". While the remainder of the message about sharing and doing good to others without expecting to receive thanks in return may have had its merits, I was personally distracted by the expression "broken home". I leaned over to my beautiful grown daughter and whispered, "That's probably not a good term to use in church." She replied, "But what other term is there?" I said, "By his reckoning, you are from a broken home." Hmm. I'm not sure she had thought of it that way. I suggested, "Divorced, impoverished, underprivileged?" How about just describing the particular needs of the ones being helped? To me, the term was the equivalent of the 1950s term "crippled". Let's not condemn people to being broken forever.

While it's true, my beautiful children had the misfortune to be born to a father and mother who became divorced, I hardly thought of our family as broken. But it seems many others did, and perhaps still do. I will likely go to my grave defending the choices I've made as a well intentioned but imperfect mother. It's a difficult job and it seems despite my resolve, I was less than terrific. But it was not made easier by those who saw us as broken. We had different challenges, to be sure. But I never thought of my children as from a broken home. Their dad and I still loved them, still cared for them. My children still had many benefits, including a safe environment to live, opportunities for education, and extended family that cared about them. We celebrated birthdays and holidays, sang and read books in our home. There was heat in the winter and chances to cool off in the summer. We had winter coats and mittens and beds to sleep in. There were friends and events we shared with others. There was laughter and there were tears. There were vacations. There was love in our home.

So what do we mean when we say a home is broken?

Sometimes divorce is not the breaking of something. Sometimes it is the fixing of something. I would never call it an easy fix. Never, ever. But please, isn't there another term you could use that wouldn't label so many people as broken? Some term that wouldn't sting us again and again. Really.

Good Friday

We are in the midst of the three days of celebration and reflection leading up to Easter Sunday. They are my favorite time year, and the most significant, for me, in the Christian calendar. They capture the heart of Christ's message of humility and obedience, which Jesus demonstrated perfectly. In how many other religious, political, or other traditions does the leader, (in this case, the Son of God) take on the role and duties of the servant? Jesus, whose entire mission was to reveal more of the Father to us, takes on the guilt of all of us, and becomes the perfect sacrifice. His sacrifice replaced the annual Jewish sacrifices at Passover, where the unblemished yearling lamb or goat was offered for the sins of the household. That first Passover was a bloody affair. All that killing and blood... it's disturbing to me to read the account and imagine the scene. Jesus fulfilled, completed that offering, and became the perpetual sacrifice, the perfect, unblemished offering. Crude and bloody, barbaric really, his crucifixion, his death, was the price of our freedom.

It wasn't easy for Him to bear it, but it was the Father's will.

"In the days when Christ was in the flesh, he offered prayers and supplications with loud cries and tears to the one who was able to save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverence. Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered; and when he was made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him." Heb 5:7-9

He sets the example for us when it comes to obedience. We are to obey as He obeyed, so that the Father's will be done.

The Servant's Song:

Brother let me be your servant
Let me be as Christ to you
Pray that I might have the grace to
Let you be my servant, too.

We are pilgrims on a journey
We are travelers on the road
We are here to help each other
Walk the mile and bear the load.

I will hold the Christ light for you
In the night-time of your fear
I will hold my hand out to you
Speak the peace you long to hear.

I will weep when you are weeping
When you laugh I'll laugh with you
I will share your joy and sorrow
Till we see this journey through.

When we sing to God in heaven
We shall find such harmony
Borne of all we've known together
Of Christ's love and agony.

Brother let me be your servant
Let me be as Christ to you
Pray that I might have the grace to
Let you be my servant, too.

There are a variety of versions of this hymn on YouTube. I prefer a quieter version but couldn't find it. This one is nice.