marylea's blogspot

Thanksgiving, 2011

2011-11-23T10:01:00.015-05:00

Life isn't perfect but there is plenty to recall that is nearly so. As these Autumn days become shorter and the weather turns more chill, the world may seem darker and dreary at times and my Irish disposition drifts toward melancholy, often despite my effort. What great timing to celebrate Thanksgiving at just this moment! Harvest: the time when we reap the fruits of our labors! This is a time when the world is wrapped in a beauty no one could have anticipated!

Recounting the very real circumstances of our lives today and the blessings we currently enjoy, as well as those blessings from our past, may serve as a quick remedy for self-concern. I have so many things for which I can be grateful this year, not the least of them is my health and the health of my family. Truly we are fortunate.

And yet I have lost good friends, this year, too. Some have endured long illness. Others slipped suddenly from us. I know people who are unemployed and discouraged, some in my own family. I know those who are dealing with serious relationship problems and in pain. And, of course, I know people who are undergoing difficult medical treatments hoping for a cure for cancer. Each of us can recount stories of those who have lost loved ones to war, accidents, or even crimes of violence. The world is not an easy place to be.

We know that life is difficult. We know that it is wrought with emotional hurts and sorrows. This is why we gather together and recount our blessings. You are a blessing to me, and I must be a blessing to you. Our Faith tells us this, and our hearts confirm it!

I really *am* grateful this year. And I pray for all of my family, and for those friends whom I know well or only a little, and for any of you who read this, too.

I pray that we can encounter that place within us that is loving and courageous. That we can hear that Voice that speaks to us reassuringly. May each of us, inspired and armed with our own sense of duty, reach out and take the hands of those around us, and give them something to be grateful for this year and in the future.

The paths we tread are littered with sorrows but leading to glory.

September 11, 2011. Ten years later...

2011-09-12T19:02:00.020-04:00

Yesterday was the 10th anniversary of the terrorist attack on the United States. Those living in New York City, those working in Washington D.C. and those traveling by air that day were vulnerable in ways which the world had never conceived. The nation watched in horror as civilians signaled for help but couldn't be saved in time, and died in an inferno before our eyes. We ached with the all of the country as we witnessed the first responders bravely enter the Twin Towers in an attempt to help those trapped inside, and then saw that they would never come out again. We can hear their voices in radio transmissions, their last words recorded. We saw images of our nation's capitol under attack before we understood exactly what was happening. And we learned of the heroic actions of a plane full of travelers who banded together to stop what would have been a second attack on Washington D.C. if they had not sacrificed themselves to prevent it.

We struggled to wrap our minds around the evil that had conceived of this blatant act of terror. And I'm not only referring to Osama Bin Laden, but to the very real evil that inspired the idea and recruited willing accomplices to carry it out. Osama Bin Laden was a tool. Sadly, he was a tool of evil and a perpetrator of lies, but he was a player in a much larger theater than even he knew.

We all must take care that we not become so full of zeal that we miss the very heart of the God we claim to serve. It is a danger, particularly in this age, when zealots are aplenty. The thing about zealots is that they are so self-righteous that this trait alone gives them away. None of us should be that sure of ourselves before God. It is humility that is the hallmark of God's true followers. They possess a humility not without conviction, but humility that recognizes their personal limitations and the greatness of the One who Is. They can be found in many religions. It is a shame that so many, who perhaps are or were well meaning, are led astray by lies, promises and empty reassurances. It is not the proud who will inherit the earth. It is not the self-righteous who will earn God's favor. It is in humility and dependence on God alone, and trusting in His providence, His justice, His will. We do not force God's hand.

So yesterday morning, on the tenth anniversary of 9/11, our hearts were turned to remembering those who died. All of them.

This was my view outside yesterday morning, September 11, 2011. No editing. Calm and quiet. Somber. A fog hung over the sky, obscuring the view. Ten years ago we were shocked and horrified, saddened and confused. It's like it was yesterday, at times. The years have provided us time and perspective and yet we still try to understand and learn something from this tragedy. We remember and honor those who died. May there be peace in our world, peace in our hearts.

Today, September 12, 2011, provided a new view. This is the same tree that I photographed yesterday in the fog, yet this is a more hopeful image. In time, the fog of our grief lifts; it rises and we see that the sun still shines in the sky, illuminating our view. Be patient with yourselves and with others. Pray that our vision may be clear.

And still, later this afternoon, this was the view out our back window. A full rainbow across the sky. A promise, written by His own hand.

Regarding Multiple Birth "Reduction" Procedures

2011-08-17T15:22:00.014-04:00

Regarding the article in Slate Magazine: Half-Aborted Why do "reductions" of twin pregnancies trouble pro-choicers?
By William Saletan

SEE ARTICLE IN SLATE HERE.

My initial reaction is horror that anyone pregnant with twins would consider a [sanitized term-->] "reduction". But it's possible to sell any idea, no matter how outrageous it may seem.

I liked the article by William Saletan for its balance, and lack of hyperbole. It was informative even if unsettling.

As I considered it longer, maybe there is some room for encouragement. As stated, multiple birth reduction provides the needed visual that drives home what may appear obvious: that the difference between two children in a multiple pregnancy in which the mother elects a "reduction" is only: gestational time and the mother's will.

With so many who hold a different opinion from my own, I find this encouraging: that a multiple pregnancy reduction makes some who lean Pro-Choice recoil and feel uncomfortable. Because in 9 months, when that mother holds her new baby, she will understand what is difficult to understand: Life is precious, and not cheap. And the connection between a mother and her child is powerfully moving. At that moment, it becomes so much clearer that the child that was "wanted" or "saved" was no different than the one destroyed, and the emotions that follow that great insight will illuminate the soul.

Who among us, which mother, wants to choose which of her children will live and which will die? It is a blessing that we haven't grown so numb as that.

Lessons from the Maple Tree, Lessons from the Saints

2011-07-31T22:23:00.010-04:00

"You do not need to know precisely what is happening, or exactly where it is all going. What you need is to recognize the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment, and to embrace them with courage, faith and hope."
- Thomas Merton

"Finally I am coming to the conclusion that my highest ambition is to be what I already am. That I will never fulfill my obligation to surpass myself unless I first accept myself, and if I accept myself fully in the right way, I will already have surpassed myself."
— Thomas Merton

"If you want to identify me,ask me not where I live,or what I like to eat, or how I comb my hair, but ask me what I am living for, in detail,ask me what I think is keeping me from living fully for the thing I want to live for."
- Thomas Merton

"Humility is the foundation of all the other virtues hence, in the soul in which this virtue does not exist there cannot be any other virtue except in mere appearance."
- St. Augustine

"MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone."
- Thomas Merton

‎"Some seek knowledge for the sake of knowledge: that is curiosity. Others seek knowledge that they may themselves be known: that is vanity. But there are still others who seek knowledge in order to serve and edify others, and that is charity."
- St. Bernard of Clairvaux

Note: Thomas Merton is not regarded as an official Saint within the Catholic Church, meaning that his life has not undergone the scrutiny of a formal Canonization process. He is, however, regarded with respect as a prolific and profound Catholic who through his writings and journals conveyed many spiritual insights which have merit and value for all of us. He is most certainly a "saint", as all of us are who seek to conform our lives to the teachings of Jesus and to live in the Father's will.

Hope and Promise

2011-07-25T00:47:00.007-04:00

In April, Spring came again to our northern climate and the grey and white landscape was replaced with colors and shapes, and the birds returned to their singing. Our moods lifted and the possibilities of all that we could accomplish filled our spirits like blood rushing into our head. Our thoughts ran swiftly like the spring streams, and ideas flowed with renewed energy. The world had awakened, and we with it. The doors and windows of our houses opened and the neighbors stepped into their yards, and blinked away the drear that had been our winter. Perhaps better things lay ahead after all.

Wisdom Speaks

2011-07-18T00:05:00.011-04:00

The first reading from the Mass on Sunday, July 17, 2011 was from the book of Wisdom:

"There is no god besides you who have the care of all,
that you need show you have not unjustly condemned.
For your might is the source of justice;
your mastery over all things makes you lenient to all.
For you show your might when the perfection of your power is disbelieved;
and in those who know you, you rebuke temerity.
But though you are master of might, you judge with clemency,
and with much lenience you govern us;
for power, whenever you will, attends you.
And you taught your people, by these deeds,
that those who are just must be kind;
and you gave your children good ground for hope
that you would permit repentance for their sins."
- Wisdom 12:13, 16-19

God has no need to prove Himself to us. His might is the "source of justice", it is the measure of what is just and right. And yet His "mastery over all things makes Him lenient to all." That is a profound thing to consider. If our all powerful God shows His leniency toward us, we are obligated to do the same to our fellowman, and fellow creatures. Those who are strong should protect the weak.

The passage from Wisdom spoke to me on many levels today, but perhaps the most relevant to my circumstances at present was this: "In those who know you, you rebuke temerity." For those who are in relationship with God should not exhibit temerity. They are, after all, His. This is different from arrogance and free of caprice. Those who walk with Him should recall that they are in good hands.

If our God is just and cares for us, and if he shows us mercy and has provided a means of forgiveness, why should we be timid, fearful or insecure? Why exhibit temerity? He rightly rebukes this in us because it reveals a small faith in His providence. It is as though we have forgotten who He is! Rather, we should remain confident in the assurance that whatever befalls us, He will be there with us. He is our source of all that is good.

The Cellist of Sarajevo, Vedran Smailovic

2010-11-29T16:50:00.013-05:00

This image was taken during the war in 1992 in Sarajevo in the partially destroyed National Library. The cello player is local musician Vedran Smailović, who often came to play for free at different funerals during the siege despite the fact that funerals were often targetted by Serb forces. (Mikhail Evstafiev)

In 1991 a terrible war broke out in Bosnia and Herzegovina. The stories of strife and the images that came to us in the nightly news and news magazines captured my imagination and tore at my heart.

Of the many troubling images, one stands out to me still. It was of a man, a musician, a cellist, who in his own outrage and grief, began playing his music in the streets and destruction of Sarajevo.

Please forgive me for even trying to speak of this time, because I do not understand the history of the troubles that led to the terrible war in Bosnia, Croatia, and Herzegovina in the 1990s. I tried to understand and the most I can really grasp is that there were boundary issues, and differences between the cultures that had previously lived together peacefully. The atrocities that followed were something I found horrific, and incomprehensible. Neighbors against neighbors in some instances. And unnecessary cruelty. It left a profound impression on me for many reasons. The same is true for other areas of the war torn world. I will never understand man's inhumanity to man. Greed and self interest do not seem enough to account for the hatred and meanness that wars bring about. However, the image below was something I could understand. I have lost loved ones. I understand grief and loss. Somehow the gesture of playing cello, doing the small thing that one can, to retain a sense of humanity, has left an indelible impression on me of the largeness of the human spirit.

The image below is not mine. It was published in Time Magazine around 1991. I ripped the picture from my copy of Time Magazine back then, and kept it to remind me to pray for those who are living surrounded by grief, and to remind me that there is value in doing whatever we can to elevate the human condition. I have made a significant effort to locate the original and to give credit to the photographer. My best guess is that it was taken by Roger M. Richards.

http://www.lifepositive.com/Mind/Positive_Chronicles/The_cellist_of_Sarajevo.asp

Vedran Smailovic

(click on image for a larger view)

A short movie by Roger M. Richards.

Corn Harvesting in Michigan

2010-11-07T03:09:00.011-05:00

The corn was harvested in early December in 2009. This year it was soybeans in the same field. The soybeans were harvested in late October. We don't farm ourselves, but living here closer to the seasons makes me appreciate the effort that is spent on cultivating. We planted a very modest garden of our own this year. When the cucumbers emerged from the vine, it was like a small miracle had taken place. Food came from the earth!

It is funny to me that in only one or two generations we have nearly forgotten what it is to have a vegetable garden and to grow our own food. We are so dependent on others for our basics, that I almost forgot that I can plant and grow myself. It is a great thing to be able to depend on others, for it teaches us to group together. But it seems good to re-learn some basic skills and perhaps some new tricks to make the job easier. I'll be planting more vegetables next year and remembering my grandparents and their own common sense about the garden.

Reminiscing.

Broken Home

2010-10-11T19:58:00.007-04:00

At Mass this past Sunday we heard someone share about a good deed done for some children who came from "broken homes". While the remainder of the message about sharing and doing good to others without expecting to receive thanks in return may have had its merits, I was personally distracted by the expression "broken home". I leaned over to my beautiful grown daughter and whispered, "That's probably not a good term to use in church." She replied, "But what other term is there?" I said, "By his reckoning, you are from a broken home." Hmm. I'm not sure she had thought of it that way. I suggested, "Divorced, impoverished, underprivileged?" How about just describing the particular needs of the ones being helped? To me, the term was the equivalent of the 1950s term "crippled". Let's not condemn people to being broken forever.

While it's true, my beautiful children had the misfortune to be born to a father and mother who became divorced, I hardly thought of our family as broken. But it seems many others did, and perhaps still do. I will likely go to my grave defending the choices I've made as a well intentioned but imperfect mother. It's a difficult job and it seems despite my resolve, I was less than terrific. But it was not made easier by those who saw us as broken. We had different challenges, to be sure. But I never thought of my children as from a broken home. Their dad and I still loved them, still cared for them. My children still had many benefits, including a safe environment to live, opportunities for education, and extended family that cared about them. We celebrated birthdays and holidays, sang and read books in our home. There was heat in the winter and chances to cool off in the summer. We had winter coats and mittens and beds to sleep in. There were friends and events we shared with others. There was laughter and there were tears. There were vacations. There was love in our home.

So what do we mean when we say a home is broken?

Sometimes divorce is not the breaking of something. Sometimes it is the fixing of something. I would never call it an easy fix. Never, ever. But please, isn't there another term you could use that wouldn't label so many people as broken? Some term that wouldn't sting us again and again. Really.

Good Friday

2010-04-02T21:20:00.011-04:00

We are in the midst of the three days of celebration and reflection leading up to Easter Sunday. They are my favorite time year, and the most significant, for me, in the Christian calendar. They capture the heart of Christ's message of humility and obedience, which Jesus demonstrated perfectly. In how many other religious, political, or other traditions does the leader, (in this case, the Son of God) take on the role and duties of the servant? Jesus, whose entire mission was to reveal more of the Father to us, takes on the guilt of all of us, and becomes the perfect sacrifice. His sacrifice replaced the annual Jewish sacrifices at Passover, where the unblemished yearling lamb or goat was offered for the sins of the household. That first Passover was a bloody affair. All that killing and blood... it's disturbing to me to read the account and imagine the scene. Jesus fulfilled, completed that offering, and became the perpetual sacrifice, the perfect, unblemished offering. Crude and bloody, barbaric really, his crucifixion, his death, was the price of our freedom.

It wasn't easy for Him to bear it, but it was the Father's will.

"In the days when Christ was in the flesh, he offered prayers and supplications with loud cries and tears to the one who was able to save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverence. Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered; and when he was made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him." Heb 5:7-9

He sets the example for us when it comes to obedience. We are to obey as He obeyed, so that the Father's will be done.

The Servant's Song:

Brother let me be your servant
Let me be as Christ to you
Pray that I might have the grace to
Let you be my servant, too.

We are pilgrims on a journey
We are travelers on the road
We are here to help each other
Walk the mile and bear the load.

I will hold the Christ light for you
In the night-time of your fear
I will hold my hand out to you
Speak the peace you long to hear.

I will weep when you are weeping
When you laugh I'll laugh with you
I will share your joy and sorrow
Till we see this journey through.

When we sing to God in heaven
We shall find such harmony
Borne of all we've known together
Of Christ's love and agony.

Brother let me be your servant
Let me be as Christ to you
Pray that I might have the grace to
Let you be my servant, too.

There are a variety of versions of this hymn on YouTube. I prefer a quieter version but couldn't find it. This one is nice.

In Honor of Saint Patrick's Day

2010-03-17T12:02:00.008-04:00

The reverence that Catholics show to Saints is often misunderstood. The true role of the Saints in the Church is to inspire us to love and serve God. They show, by their good example, how to follow Jesus more closely. While all Christians are saints, all of us trying to follow God in our personal journeys, some do so in an exemplary way. It seems simple to me to recognize that if we honor those who excel in other areas, honoring those who live an exceptional Christian life is no different. We accept role models for sports, business, authors, etc. We give awards and accolades for many accomplishments. In this same, but perhaps more significant spirit, the Catholic Church honors those who exemplify the Christian life. Some move us more than others. The Saints come in every shape and color and can teach us. As a Catholic Christian, my own fondness for some Saints more than others is personal. The Saints have personalities unique to them and are no different than any of us, except in the firmness of their resolve to do good. I love them for their flaws and their successes because their humanity both comforts and inspires me.

My father's family was Irish. His grandfather immigrated to the United States from County Mayo in 1874 with his wife, and they raised a large family which included my own grandfather and many great aunts and uncles. My father had a strong connection with his Irish roots, and this was passed on to us. Included in this was an appreciation for St. Patrick. From the time I was in Jr. High School, I recall a small statue of St. Patrick in our living room where it was an important reminder of the Saint's positive influence on the Irish people.

I have this same statue now in our home, along with a small reproduction of an icon bearing the image of St. Patrick. I have tried to impress upon my children the value of our Irish roots.

For a brief history of St. Patrick himself, you can click on the image above or below.

For whatever it is worth, I personally have felt a closeness with the rural countryside of Ireland and have a temperament that can be described as Irish... friendly and fun loving while introverted and melancholy at the same time.

The prayer of St. Patrick, including "The Deer Cry" cited below, is a powerful acclamation of our intention to follow God each day, and to do so, strengthened by Him. So for the feast of St. Patrick, I share this prayer today:

"I arise today through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity, through belief in the Threeness, through confession of the Oneness of the Creator of creation.

I arise today through the strength of Christ with his Baptism, through the strength of His Crucifixion with His Burial through the strength of His Resurrection with His Ascension, through the strength of His descent for the Judgment of Doom.

I arise today through the strength of the love of Cherubim in obedience of Angels, in the service of the Archangels, in hope of resurrection to meet with reward, in prayers of Patriarchs, in predictions of Prophets, in preachings of Apostles, in faiths of Confessors, in innocence of Holy Virgins, in deeds of righteous men.

I arise today, through the strength of Heaven; light of Sun, brilliance of Moon, splendor of Fire, speed of Lightning, swiftness of Wind, depth of Sea, stability of Earth, firmness of Rock.

I arise today, through God's strength to pilot me: God's might to uphold me, God's wisdom to guide me, God's eye to look before me, God's ear to hear me, God's word to speak for me, God's hand to guard me, God's way to lie before me, God's shield to protect me, God's host to secure me: against snares of devils, against temptations of vices, against inclinations of nature, against everyone who shall wish me ill, afar and anear, alone and in a crowd.

I summon today all these powers between me (and these evils): against every cruel and merciless power that may oppose my body and my soul, against incantations of false prophets, against black laws of heathenry, against false laws of heretics, against craft of idolatry, against spells of witches, smiths and wizards, against every knowledge that endangers man's body and soul. Christ to protect me today against poisoning, against burning, against drowning, against wounding, so that there may come abundance in reward.

Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me, Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me, Christ on my right, Christ on my left, Christ in breadth, Christ in length, Christ in height, Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me, Christ in the mouth of every man who speaks of me, Christ in every eye that sees me, Christ in every ear that hears me.

I arise today through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity, through belief in the Threeness, through confession of the Oneness of the Creator of creation. Salvation is of the Lord. Salvation is of the Lord. Salvation is of Christ. May Thy Salvation, O Lord, be ever with us. Amen."

Mercy

2010-02-28T16:08:00.010-05:00

I am not the best Christian.
I am not the best Catholic.
I am not the best wife.
I am not the wisest parent.
I am not the best mother.
I am not the smartest student.
I am not the coolest parent.
I am not the best photographer.
I am not the most insightful blogger.
I am not the best listener.
I am not the most eloquent speaker.
I am not the best writer.
I am not the best gardener.
I am not the best daughter.
I am not the best sister.
I am not the most patient person.
I am not the most learned theologian.
I am not the best intercessor.
I am not the kindest.
I am not the most helpful.
I am not the one who knows the most about anything.
I am not the one with all the answers.
I am not the most forgiving.
I am not the best dressed.
I am not the most beautiful.
I am not the youngest.
I am not the best housekeeper.
I am not the neatest person.
I am not the one with the most friends.
I am not the one with the most perfect children.
I am not the one with the most grandchildren.
I am not the best daughter-in-law.
I am not the best aunt.
I am not the best sister-in-law.
I am not the best niece.
I am not the best employee.
I am not the one with the most awards.
I am not the best athlete.
I am not the best singer.
I am not the best artist.
I am not the most creative.
I am not the best dog trainer.
I am not the best neighbor.
I am not the best cook.
I am not the most informed.
I am not the most politically involved.
I am not the best read.
I am not the most tidy.
I am not the most reliable.
I am not the most consistent.
I am not the most energetic.
I am not the most thorough.
There are so very very many things that I am not...
I am not the one sitting at His right hand.

I am aware of my mistakes, aware of my limitations, aware of the ways I have let others down.

I often hear my accuser remind me of all the ways that I am not worthy. I often hear my accuser's voice. My accuser often tells the truth. My accuser is often right about my failings. My accuser does not tell the whole truth, though. And the part he does not tell is the part I need most to hear.

I know:
I am a sinner.
I am very much in need of forgiveness.
I am very much in need of a Savior.
I am very much in need of the Eucharist.

This morning at Mass, once more, I was confronted with the truth. Jesus comes to me not because of myself but in spite of myself. He comes to me out of love. He comes to me always because He is merciful. I am very much forgiven. Without Him, I am nothing. I am a wilted flower. Nothing to behold. Nothing to recommend itself.

St. Theresa of Lisieux reminded us, "The guest of our soul knows our misery; He comes to find an empty tent within us - that is all He asks."

Unmerited Mercy. Grace. That is what I receive from Jesus. That is His gift to me.

I hope you experience it, too.

Rend Your Hearts, Not Your Garments, and Return to Me

2010-02-17T09:53:00.012-05:00

Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of Lent today, Feb 17, 2010.

This is a flower pic, taken a couple years ago, which I've converted to this black and white image. Just as I have stripped away the color from this image, during this season of Lent, we now strip away ourselves to find more of the genuine, and less of the facades. We quiet those external noises that drown out the voice of our Creator. We gladly make sacrifices because we find our truer selves in so doing. And we turn our hearts toward God and others. This is the way we were meant to be. This is how we were designed.

We are not perfect, but there is beauty in our imperfection. We are not whole, but He can make up what is lacking.

Like the tulip above, we are open, and ready.

"Here I am, Lord. Your servant is listening."

As I woke today, I thought of St. Paul. He had many reasons to feel secure in his relationship with God. Born a Jew, circumcised on the eighth day, years of zealous (overzealous?) service within his tradition... But his worldly standing did not grant him access to the One he desired. All that effort to be good and holy... fell short. Paul tells us that knowing Jesus was worth more than all of his public position and standing. Paul's relationship with Jesus was the thing he valued most. St. Paul is a credible witness. Knowing all that he knows, he tells the Philippians (3:8-10), "I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as refuse, in order that I may gain Christ...being found in him, not having a righteousness of my own, based on law, but that which is through faith in Christ...that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that if possible, I may attain the resurrection form the dead."

We fast during Lent because it gives us great joy to be joined with Jesus in his own selflessness. While it may cause us temporary pain or difficulty, our eyes are looking toward the prize, the goal. That is, we are looking toward Jesus, himself. Our faith sustains us when He seems quiet. This is why, as Catholics, we are pleased to embrace small (or great) sufferings for we know that they are good teachers. We are not afraid of hardship. Our sacrifices teach us to be patient, and to wait in faith.

One more thing about St. Paul is that he leaves the outcome of his soul with Jesus. "...that if possible, I may attain the resurrection from the dead." He doesn't boast that it is his. If he boasts at all, he boasts only in his trust, in his relationship, in his faith in Jesus.

So many times it is difficult to trust. When He seems quiet, or we feel distant. That is when we must call on the virtue of patience, and rely on His timing. God is not a genie to be called forth from some shiny lamp. He is God. We must be his patient servants.

God bless any of you who stop to read these words. Those of you who observe Lent and those of you who do not. We are all His creatures.

Turning Back Toward God

2010-02-16T14:00:00.011-05:00

I am giving some thought today to the weeks just ahead as many of us begin the period of Lent. Yesterday, I mentioned in my blog that if we are not thoughtful, we can easily drift from our chosen path and end up where we never intended to go. The antidote to this can be found, in part, in the observation of Lent.

Lent, the forty days prior to the Christian celebration of Easter, begins tomorrow. In many traditions, Lent is observed as a time to reflect on our need for salvation, our need for God, and to examine our lives in the context of virtue. Lent provides a time for self-reflection and repentance. As part of this "life review", it is customary to make small sacrifices, to demonstrate that we are serious about our desire to live more closely with God. Such acts, often of self-denial, can serve a dual purpose, for as we deny ourselves earthly comforts, we shut out the noise of the world. That "noise" often comes from within, as our inner selves make demands all day long: "Feed me!" or "Don't make me work so hard!" As we quiet those inner demands, we gain something scripture refers to as "self-mastery", which is a freedom that is often overlooked and undervalued by our Western culture. It is the freedom to say "no" to that often irrational and demanding voice that is inside us. Another part of this season of Lent includes reaching out, giving alms, and remembering others. Here we put into action our insights that it is better to give than to receive, better to think of others before thinking of ourselves.

The Christian life should be modeled after Jesus, himself. Therefore, we must concern ourselves to build a closer and stronger relationship with the Father, and also to love and help those He created.

This year, I think I will be considering Christian virtues.

What are virtues? In general, virtues involve a habitual and firm disposition to do good. They involve our intellect, and govern our actions, giving order to our passions and desires, and are informed by reason and faith. Virtues can be grouped around the 4 (four) cardinal virtues: prudence, justice, fortitude and temperance. The Catholic catechism tells us that there are 3 (three) theological virtues: faith, hope, and charity (love). These undergird and give direction to all other virtues.

The term human virtues, is used to describe qualities such as compassion, responsibility, a sense of duty, self-discipline, and restraint, honesty, loyalty, friendship, courage, and persistence, and others. These related to those Cardinal Virtues but they are supported by, or even driven by, the theological virtues of faith, hope and charity.

The theological virtues are acquired through baptism and granted to us by God's unmerited grace. But the cardinal virtues we acquire by doing good. We learn them through observing them in others, and repeating them in our own behavior. We grow in virtue by frequent repetition of virtuous acts. For example, each time we choose to tell the truth, rather than a lie, we grow in honesty. Each time we ignore our fears, we grow in courage.

There are many lists of virtues. Generosity, poverty of spirit (humility), purity of heart,... I will have much to think about!

The flower above is a yellow salsify. It grows wild in the midwest where I live. I have converted it to black and white. The stark tones seem appropriate for the journey ahead.

May He draw us always closer to His heart, and teach us to love as He does.

Think On These Things

2010-02-15T09:30:00.010-05:00

"Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and seen in me, do, and the God of peace will be with you." Philippians 4:8-9

When I was in high school and college I spent a good deal of time reading and praying about lessons from the Old and New Testaments. St. Paul's exhortation to the Philippians, noted above, has always held deep meaning for me. It teaches the way to a) maintain a positive attitude, b) is excellent advice for warding off depression, and c) is a wonderful first step for problem solving when one is confronted with problems.

This has all come to mind again recently as I have watched television take on darker and darker themes. There seems to be a marked increase in shows that deal with a non-Christian view of spirituality-- shows that elevate magic, and the afterlife or vampires, which, of course are very popular these days. There are increasingly gruesome crime scenes and an exploration into the psyche of those who torture or perform unthinkable acts on others. On a certain level it is fascinating. I admit that I am drawn to many of the shows that deal with crime. On the simplest level, they are about good and evil. Mixed in to even the best shows, however, are the little jabs against my beliefs.

There is very little to watch that inspires one to be a better person, but there is plenty to normalize our baser instincts. There are few times when Catholic virtues are supported, and many more times when their ideal is actually mocked. It's funny, too, because really, the argument against Catholic ideals doesn't have much to support it. Mocking virtue and idealizing vice hardly holds up to real scrutiny. But isn't that the idea? In a way, aren't we just being numbed or lulled into a torpor so we won't scrutinize. Taking the path of least resistance, we can drift further from our truest selves, further from our real capacities. It's like Western culture has become so adolescent that we stand as a group and laugh at things we don't even understand, but act in front of one another as though we have superiority. Western culture thinks it is pretty "cool".

We know better. What good parent doesn't hold up some sort of ideal for their children? Who wouldn't encourage their child to improve their soccer or reading skills, or to practice their violin? We know it takes effort to meet our goals. So maybe the problem is that we have lost sight of our spiritual and moral goals. Maybe the problem is that we have replaced the real and authentic, with something that is not real but counterfeit.

There is a story, and I don't know the source or I would give it. But it is the story of someone who works in the banking industry. He or she is an expert at identifying counterfeit bills. This individual was asked one time about how he got so good at identifying counterfeit bills, and if he didn't have to see a lot of counterfeit money as part of his education. His reply was that he didn't need to study the counterfeits. He studied the genuine bill. That is all he did. If you study and know the genuine, you can spot a counterfeit.

So this is the point I am making. If we submerge ourselves in what is base, we are likely to lose sight of the virtues and our moral compass may drift, over time, leading us down a path that we never really intended to travel. This doesn't happen because we are bad, but because we are human. We are easily influenced by what we hear and see, and if we are not paying attention, we may forget ourselves.

So St. Paul's words speak to me. And that is why I post this photo of the gladiolus. It is not the best picture of a flower that you will ever see. But it is good enough. And I hope it points you to consider something good, and true and beautiful.

As we approach Lent this coming Wednesday, may we all turn our hearts back to the One who made them. May we take each other's hands to guide us all back to the path if we have strayed. Our happiness truly comes from Him.

Peace to you, my friend.

Gladiolus

2010-02-07T00:22:00.003-05:00

For Jack. I really enjoyed our conversations. Be at peace.

Winter Pastimes: Dreaming of Summer Days!

2010-01-30T18:16:00.003-05:00

Here he is again. My good dog. This was taken last June. Now, in the middle of the cold, grey days of January, we are dreaming of the warm weather that is soon to return. Just on the verge of February, the longest month in Michigan by my reckoning, the thought of summer days and warm, out door wanderings, is a pleasant thought indeed.

Refrigerator Door

2009-11-17T22:49:00.003-05:00

The photo above of my refrigerator was taken on February 12, 2006. My children were all born in the 1980s, so even in 2006 you can see that these pictures were a bit outdated. In fact, at the time, my kids were all out of high school. But a mother's heart can be slow to let go of the early years when her children hung close and she could open their minds and hearts to the world around them and still bask in their affection! Those years were good years for us. Life was simple. Tasks were clear. I thought I had it all figured out, and everything would be just fine if I did my part.

Somewhere along the way, our perspectives grew and our insights grew with them. Life seemed more complex and the answers not always so simple.

Now, I look back on these years and think, life is actually quite simple indeed. Love those you're given and never stop loving them. Everything else is gravy. Everything, everything is grace.

A Thing of Beauty

2009-10-22T23:34:00.005-04:00

Perhaps I am a bit predisposed to admire the imperfect world and the beauty that I see therein. It seems it is everywhere around us. Perfection is elusive. Perfection is fleeting, But to those who wish to find it, beauty is right there in front of us.

Flowers: Living Proof

Beauty Through Time

Transitional Beauty: Flowers

Looking Forward, Looking Back

Rosebud

Elusive Beauty

Carnation, Roses, Tulips

Lovely Forethought

Searching for Signs of Spring

2009-07-18T10:40:00.002-04:00

Photos from April 14, 2009.

A walk in the rain one early spring day. Seamus would need a raincoat this time because it was still pretty cold. The field grasses hadn't grown tall yet, as they would do when the summer months arrived. He could stand or sit far away from me and I could still see him plainly.

He and I wandered around. Down to see the horses. Down to the creek. Looking for signs of spring. He and I are spring lovers, not built for the cold weather months that linger for so long in the midwest. We need to smell the growing things and see the green come up magically from the ground after being buried for months under snow. We like to run in the fields and hear the wind rush past our ears.

Though the snow had passed for now, we were on a mission to find some early signs that things were going to start growing soon.

The creek flowed briskly by,

Signs of squirrels feasting on Hickory nuts...

Happy Father's Day, Dad

2009-06-23T20:56:00.003-04:00

My dad bought me my first camera when I was in 3rd grade or so. He let me shoot pictures (B&W) and took the film in to be developed once per week for me. He seemed to notice the things I liked, and encouraged them (most of them...). He even seemed to share many of them. He passed on his Catholic faith, his love for dogs, nature and the out of doors. He pointed out things like constellations in the sky, and deer tracks in our yard. He taught us the importance of accepting responsibility and for making our own choices. He taught us to make the changes we wanted to see. He liked to know things, liked to know about the things in the natural world.

He's been gone since 1990, a long time, really. A daughter never outgrows her need for a father. Thanks, Dad.

(The above composite is generated by Flickr's Explore criteria. A mystery in itself. These pics of mine are, at the time of this writing, currently in Explore, which means they generated enough interest on their own merits or some strange fluke of the Explore "magic" to be deemed in the top 500 most interesting pics uploaded on the days that they were originally posted. If anyone cares.)

1. Front view of Tabernacle, 2. Reindeer Seamus 12'03, 3. Colored windows, 4. Always take time to pray., 5. Yellow Cattleya Orchid, 6. Seamus Dines, 7. Framed!!, 8. To see as the giraffe sees!,

9. Baptismal Font Reflection, 10. Back view of Tabernacle, 11. Suspended!, 12. Early Morning Walk, 13. Autumn: Fading Light, 14. Our Mother, 15. Stained glass depiction of St. Therese of Lisieux, 16. Katherine and me,

17. He is always listening., 18. Ready for Rain, 19. Come closer!

Created with fd's Flickr Toys.

My Daughters' Weddings

2009-05-23T17:07:00.008-04:00

Being a mother has been full of wonderful surprises and so much growth. I've learned so much about so much. I have 3 terrific children, all very different, all very loved.

In the past six months, two of my three children have married. My oldest daughter, Ann, married in October 2008, and my youngest daughter, Beth, in April 2009. It's a momentous thing for them and for this mother, whose heart was full of emotion. I was honored that I was asked, along with their father, to make a toast, to share a bit about them. Here, then, are the toasts I made:

First, for my daughter, Ann, and her new husband:

So many of us have traveled a good distance to be here today. I know how much it means to Ann and Gabriel, and it means a lot to me that you are here. Thank you so much.

Ann was my first child, my first daughter. From the get go she was a very inquisitive child and into everything. And she was very creative. She looked at things as they were but saw other possibilities. She is an innovative thinker, who often simultaneously displays enormous independence and a childlike need for connection. I love her fiercely.

That said, Gabriel, I feel you should know that as a little girl, Ann liked to make murals with crayons, and drew on walls and doors a lot! But being creative, she was able to improvise when crayons weren’t available. She spent one short nap time coloring with her cherry flavored chapstick on her bedroom screens, and filled in all the outlet screws, and another naptime shampooing her baby brother’s head with Vaseline. You’ll want to keep a scrub brush handy, and, well, for the Vaseline, I’m not sure what advice to give you.

She can be disorganized at times, and extremely organized at others. Take a look around you to see how well she can organize an event! But in high school and college she was notorious for leaving the home to go somewhere only to return minutes later for something she forgot, which earned her my favorite nickname: “Ann-who-leaves-twice”.

When Ann first met Gabriel, she called me to tell me about this really great guy who was smart, and handsome and driven. Living so far away as she did in D.C., I didn’t have a chance to meet him as soon as I would have liked. I was, however, in the peculiar situation of being able to see him on a reality TV show, Rebel Billionaire. Not given to watching TV on that night, you can be certain that I missed no episodes, hoping to get some insight into this young man to whom my daughter had taken a fancy. So if the challenges of the TV show were as effortless for Gabriel as they appeared, he was also being evaluated by Ann’s family long distance-style, which could have been more formidable. (You may be interested to know that Gabriel is listed in Wikipedia for this distinction.) Gabriel seemed cool and calm and level headed, on the show, and it hardly did him justice. When he visited our family at Christmas 2006, he was warm and kind and bright. After that, I only cared that Ann truly loved him. And love him she does!

This toast is to Ann and Gabriel. May the vows you spoke today guide you in the future. May you have many years together and many children, and may you love them even half as much as I have loved mine. As I love you!

photo by Tamara Lackey

-----

For my daughter, Beth, and her new husband:

We’re delighted to see so many here today to celebrate with Beth and Kevin. Clearly, they have a wonderful network of friends and family to support them as they begin their life as a married couple! Your presence here is not unimportant, for a network of friends and family is what we all need.

Beth and Kevin were initially friends at St. Thomas, where they were involved in some of the same ministries and worked side by side to encourage other college-aged adults to understand and grow in their Catholic faith. Their romance did not come until they had established a sound friendship. What a great formula for success!

There are some things Kevin should know about his new bride:
Beth is my youngest daughter, and will always be my baby. But she was never a shrinking violet, never overshadowed by her older brother and sister. And that is saying a lot, because they are all outgoing, all active, all creative! But inside, she is a sensitive creature who may cry at sad movies, the bleat of a baby goat, and those little disappointments that we experience each day. She is to be handled with care.

Beth has God-given qualities that her father and I had nothing to do with. She was born strong-willed and secure in herself. She was born confident and brave and undaunted by adventure. She was born with an aptitude for science and math. And she was born with a tremendous wit. While we exposed her to our values, she adopted and made her faith her own. She has learned to be giving and kind and to put others before herself. These attributes guided her when she left for Turkey to do evangelism the summer before her senior year in college, and later to spend 9 months in Calcutta, India working with the Sisters of Charity, the order Mother Theresa founded, in an orphanage with needy children. Beth does not shrink from a challenge, and when she makes a decision, she is not easily dissuaded.

I knew early on she would be a handful. She was intent on keeping up with her older siblings and consequently learned to climb out of her crib when she had only just learned to stand. She walked when she was 10 months old. She read people well and would play tricks on us just to tease us. I still remember her standing at the top of the stairs when she could barely walk and she jumped up and down, looking at me to see my reaction. As a little girl, her confidence and bravery sometimes pushed her older siblings to meet their goals. She would have been the first to jump off the high dive, but her resolve was just enough to give the last bit of needed courage to her siblings to jump just before her! She was unafraid of almost anything. The three together made a great team. Ann would mastermind a plan, and knew how to use a phone. Greg was strong and ready for anything that sounded fun or required a masculine effort. But Beth was the one they would send downstairs to investigate a scary noise. They were the three Musketeers, into everything and making everything fun.

We spend a lot of time when they are young teaching our children everything from how to button a shirt, how to think for themselves, and how to treat others. And along the way they teach us over and over again about who we are and how we can be better individuals. I believe we are in this journey together, that these souls, who were entrusted to us, are also meant to lead us at times. There is no accident that I have been graced with the children I have. It is all part of His perfect plan.

As a mother, the most basic thing I want for my children is that they be happy. But the secret to happiness is knowing where to find it. It’s not in the things we acquire, or the accolades of others, although those are nice. It’s not in external appearances or in doing everything right, for we will certainly make many mistakes and fail often. We find happiness in our humble connections with others. Successful people know that happiness comes when we put others first.

We are here today to celebrate love. Kevin’s love for Beth, and Beth’s love for Kevin. Central to this, is the Father’s love for each of us. Our love is imperfect and the fact that we get it right sometimes is a miracle of a certain kind. But when we fail each other, and forgive each other, as husbands and wives must do daily, it illustrates how deeply we are loved. All by the grace of God, whether acknowledged or not.

We've heard a lot today about Polish traditions. We are Irish, and in honor of our ancestry, an Irish toast:

Please raise your glasses and your hearts:
May you always have work for your hands to do. 
May your pockets hold always a coin or two. 
May the sun shine bright on your windowpane. 
May the rainbow be certain to follow each rain. 
May the hand of a friend always be near you. 
And may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.

Surprised By New Life

2009-05-11T22:41:00.010-04:00

This is an orchid I bought last year. It was beautiful then, but, afterwards went dormant. I tried to care for it during the winter, but have little experience with orchid care. I gave it a bit of water and a western facing window, but not much else. For months it looked like a pot of dirt with some paltry looking leaves.

I was so surprised early this spring when it began to send up a shoot of promise! Soon there were buds followed by beautiful white phalaenopsis blooms! Life sometimes goes dormant for us, too, but patience yields some surprises for those who maintain hope.

Remembering a Fall Drive through southeastern Michigan

2009-03-04T17:49:00.009-05:00

October 20, 2008. A quiet and peaceful afternoon spent driving through southeastern Michigan to enjoy the fall colors. I was rewarded with some beautiful scenery.

and then the more subtle tones that draw ones thoughts inward...

From The Onion

2009-01-28T18:55:00.000-05:00

Congress Debates Adding Elaborate Dance To Obama's Inauguration Ceremony

The Love Of a Dog

2009-01-18T22:33:00.005-05:00

Next to my husband, this creature is my faithful companion. He is always at my side. He's really fun and smart and such a good friend. Everyone should be loved by a dog!

Happy 2009

2009-01-05T18:04:00.002-05:00

Our family had a wonderful Christmas together: so many things for which to be thankful, and so many things to which we look forward.

This pic illustrates how we feel after the holidays. Ready to seize the day! Ready to seize 2009!

Winter Snow!

2008-12-22T12:57:00.003-05:00

This picture is from last year but it looks pretty much the same today only with more snow. We've really had a punishing snowfall over the last several days, and today I was stuck in the driveway and it took about 3 hours to get it cleared. Even then it's only one lane wide and the road at the end isn't great. We get a lot of drifting in these parts and it's not a bad day to stay home. There's much to be done before the holiday, but of course much of it requires going out. No worries, though.

Cleaning up at home is good therapy for me and I have gotten a few things done that have waited for my attention for months. Boxes moved from the hallway, that sort of thing.

I'm over my previous melancholy about my mother that hits me now and then. When it's daylight, I am always more forward thinking.

The passage of time, though... That's something to ponder. We are born, we live, we die. We accomplish, we give. I hope we reflect. The quiet of reflection, of prayer, gives needed direction to our activity. It's a good thing. Snow days can slow us down, divert us a bit. Just staying warm is enough.

Into this darkness, our darkness, came the One who would make all things new. Advent is a time to consider how much we needed this One. How much we need Him still.

Missing You

2008-12-16T18:43:00.006-05:00

I miss you. I don't understand myself sometimes, and I think that you would. You might be able to shed light on why I feel sad, why I feel lonely. There is a hole where you once were, where I felt known. Who knew it would still be there 33 years later? But here it is. At times I feel so needy, which isn't like me because I really am quite independent. But I always come back to you, to needing you. And then I feel badly that I didn't have more time, and that I didn't know what it must have been like for you. Now I can understand a little better, but then?... then I was still full of my own thoughts and while I thought I understood, I probably didn't understand at all. I'm sorry that I wasn't more help to you. I'm sorry that I was so wrapped up in my own life and friends and that I probably didn't say the things you wanted to hear from me at the time. I know I wish I could talk to you now. I wish I could hear you speak to me, and I wonder what you would say. I really wish I could have known what you think of me. I guess it's a good thing that I paid attention to how you did things. I probably didn't know why you did them, but at least I know some of the things you thought were important to do. Can you send me a little "hello" from somewhere, if you get a chance? Could you pop me a little post card to let me know that you're ok? That I'm ok?

It's cold outside, and dark because it's December. I miss you in December. You did a good job of making December a great time of year. I don't do nearly as well as you at making things special. In fact, I sometimes find it hard to move at all at this time of year. You'd think that because you set a good example for me, I'd be able to throw myself into this time of year with zeal. It's harder than you might think. But I don't want to make excuses. I don't know if a bowl of pine cones on the mantle would make my kids feel any better, but somehow it made me feel good when I was young.

Well, I have work to do here. But I miss you and really wish I could have talked to you today. I wonder sometimes if you ever felt like this. I suspect you must have, but you seemed to do ok.

Remember how I used to like to take pictures when I was young and dad would take my film to the store to be developed?? Well, I take pictures, now, too. These digital cameras are great! Anyway, this is a picture of an icy Queen Anne's Lace bloom. There's a field behind our home and I took this on a really cold day last winter. It sort of captures how I feel today. Maybe you know what I mean.

Thinking of you...

Immaculate Conception (December 8)

2008-12-09T21:08:00.006-05:00

In honor of the Feast of the Immaculate Conception of Mary.

"The hope of new life began the very same moment that Our Lady was conceived in the fullness of grace without the slightest disfigurement of original sin."
- from Conversation with God, by Francis Fernandez

"Our Lady is rest for those who work, consolation for those who mourn, and relief for those who are sick. She is a refuge for those caught in the storms of life, a fountain of compassion for sinners, a sweet relief for the sorrowful and a sure source of aid for those who pray."
- St. John Damascene, from "Homily on Our Lady's Dormition"

(page 345 Conversations with God, Vol 7)

Mary, conceived without sin, Pray for us who have recourse to thee.

Judge Wisely

2008-12-08T21:29:00.005-05:00

Yesterday was the second Sunday of Advent. The Communion Prayer has jumped out at me in years past, and this year, there was the same, sage entreaty: "Teach us to judge wisely the things of earth, and to love the things of Heaven."

That just about sums it up, doesn't it? If we can just sort out the value of earthly things, and place our emphasis and efforts on obtaining the Heavenly ones we'd be ahead of the game. The pursuit of Virtue, versus the pursuit of things... Investing in people rather than in accumulating wealth. Challenging considerations. No wonder we ask the Father for help in discerning what has value.

For T

2008-12-07T11:37:00.002-05:00

For T, who died on his 63rd birthday today. All God's blessing and peace be yours. Your earthly battle is over.

A Walk in the Woods

2008-12-06T14:29:00.010-05:00

We are currently blanketed in snow, with gray skies overhead. The winter is only fresh upon us, but I am already dreaming of green grasses and warm breezes. I philosophically tell myself that the winter months are good for the soul, and that they create a desire for something greater. They reveal our vulnerability, our need for shelter and protection. They put me in touch with myself; I become more introspective and I see my faults and weaknesses more clearly. Life becomes more difficult, more challenging.

Spring and summer are full of possibilities and promise. They are months of confidence and life is easy (easier).

In the late summer we took a walk through a park which is a good thing to do. It was early morning in this case, but early or later in the evening are also beautiful times for getting out in the natural world. The pine forest filters the light and the needles make the path quiet. It is like a conversation with God. Stripped of the man-made distractions of daily life, it is healing to be alone in the woods. The mind is emptied of the build-up of worldly concerns, and our vision becomes clear.

I recently had the opportunity to see a movie, "The Human Experience". It has given me so much to think about. There are a number of excellent quotes peppered into the story line, but I had to look one of them up when I got home because it was so true, and so worth considering.

Martin Luther King had many profound and challenging things to say about the way we live. Here's a thought for now:

"We must rapidly begin to shift from a thing-oriented society to a person-oriented society. When machines and computers, profit motives and property rights are considered more important than people, the giant triplets of racism, materialism, and militarism are incapable of being conquered."

- Martin Luther King Jr.

Green Acorn

2008-11-23T15:12:00.001-05:00

“The greatest achievement was at first and for a time a dream. The oak sleeps in the acorn, the bird waits in the egg, and in the highest vision of the soul a waking angel stirs. Dreams are the seedlings of realities.”
- James Allen

“The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Is the acorn better than the oak which is its fullness and completion?”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Truly, I tell all of you with certainty, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone. But if it dies, it produces a lot of grain.
- John 12:24

This image of a single acorn is about potential and life. It is about hope and future. It embodies why I am pro-Life, and why I believe in the power of suffering when born with patience, and why death is not the end. It is a sermon in itself, which others have preached before me. The acorn is food for the squirrels, and provides potential shelter for the birds. In it's smallness, it has potential to become the large and steady oak.

Reminiscing about the end of summer gardening...

2008-11-08T22:25:00.004-05:00

Fall has taken hold of us here but I still enjoy the garden I worked in this summer. Slowly it is taking form, and each year should be better than the one before.

Gardening with Seamus, my Parson Russell Terrier

2008-11-02T20:23:00.004-05:00

While I garden, he observes from the window. Eager to help in any way I'd allow, I find his assistance most helpful as a companion on the other side of the screen. His devotion is charming, though, and he is such a good friend.

He speaks to me:

"Hmm... This gardening project may take her longer than I thought..."

"Psst... Hey, there! I've got a great idea! Dog treats!"

----------
"Is anyone else ready for a snack break???..."

---------
"I think you may have missed a weed over there..."

_________

"I'm picturing some lovely blooms by next spring..."

_________

"I'm here if you need me..."

Looking Up

2008-10-05T20:03:00.002-04:00

Sculpture is from Dominoes Farms.

New York City

2008-08-30T01:03:00.003-04:00

New York City Subways. The architecture, the massive tracks, the noise, the crowds... It has a life of its own. So many strangers passing each other daily. Anonymous, with a common tie to the City.

Helping Others

2008-08-19T20:08:00.006-04:00

I saw a man with his wife today. In the past month he has developed symptoms, undergone testing, and been told he has at least one, or maybe two cancers that have metastasized to other organs in his body. He is very uncomfortable. He experiences pain regularly, and it has gotten worse. He is frustrated because the specific cancer(s) he has are not identified yet. We will determine the type, and he will have a clear diagnosis with treatment recommendations soon. It's serious. On top of this, he has no insurance, and is unable to work because of his illness. His wife does not have a job and is busy trying to take care of him. They are both very stressed by their circumstances, and all that it means. We discover he has no insurance and reassure him that we will get our social worker and financial assistance staff to meet with him. We will treat him. We will help. His wife's lip quivers, and a tear quietly rolls down her cheek. He is trying to be brave, but breaks down and weeps finally. Now they both cry. His wife says it is because he is not used to receiving help, and now he clearly needs help. It is a blow to him. He is grateful, but it is so hard to accept. He is overwhelmed by everything.

It is so important that we show compassion to others. We have no idea what their lives are like, what pressures, what disappointments, what challenges and heartaches they are experiencing. We all need help. We all need each other.

An Open Letter to my Children on Childrearing

2008-08-17T14:59:00.004-04:00

Today seems like a good day to offer you some advice. None of you has kids yet, so no one can get defensive or feel I'm talking specifically to you. That's nice, because raising kids is really hard and most of us want to do a good job.

If/when you take your kids to church, and I hope you will take them to church..., please consider that they can probably make it through an hour or so without food. It isn't necessary to bring a picnic basket's worth of nibbles and drinks to make it through the service, nor will it enhance your own experience of the time for prayer and worship. There may be exceptions, but in general, they will be able to do it. If they should seem particularly hungry, a snack in the car might be a good solution. If you believe food is a good placator, consider that the nibbley goodness that you proffer right now will probably only buy you a bit of time. When it is gone, they will expect something else, and may demand it in ways that you did not anticipate, --ways that are noisy, whiney or otherwise antisocial. I have observed someone's darling throw the snack on the floor, or spill it on the seat, and have helped another who came along and sat in some chocolaty goodness try to scrape it off of their nice clothes. Those placating snacks hardly seem worth the trouble if another worshipper may accidentally sit in or slip on whatever you have left behind. I think you get the picture. On the other hand, children can be drawn into the mystery unfolding on the altar through books and other *quiet* toys, as well as your gentle explanations that help them feel involved. Setting an expectation for appropriate behavior at Mass is a good idea. If we remember that the church sanctuary is God's house, we will teach our little ones not to run in the aisles going to or from the bathroom. Better yet, maybe we will go with them! It is a perfect opportunity to teach them to be aware of others,... others who are quietly trying to pray. This is especially true for the elderly parishioners, who have taken the trouble to come to Mass despite their personal struggles, ... the older ones who are using assistive devices to walk, and don't see very well... The older ones that we should be watching out for and showing special respect and consideration. It is not an old fashioned idea. Respect and consideration will never go out of style. Church is a great place to teach our young ones in love.

New Starts, New Beginnings

2008-08-17T14:50:00.005-04:00

I am posting this pic of a beautiful sunrise today because I am anticipating beginning my new job tomorrow. I am looking forward to the change and learning new things. I am a bit sad to leave behind things that I know and the people in my previous job. If nothing else, it seems important to pause on the threshold of something new and be grateful for everything. I am happy for the options, and the people that have enabled me to learn and grow. I am enriched by all of them. Change comes easily to some, and less easily to others.

Thanks, and wish me well!

Happy Anniversary!

2008-08-16T01:50:00.002-04:00

Today is our anniversary. Five years, plus the several that we knew each other beforehand. It's nice to be known; it's nice to be loved. It's nice to feel stability and peace in your relationship. It isn't like a romance novel, but it is often better; and deeper. It's nice to have someone at your side, even when you are not at your best. We help each other; he encourages me. We broaden each other's horizons. He is a good man. I am so thankful.

The picture is from Hawaii, where we spent a vacation.

Orange Mosaic (2)

2008-08-16T00:50:00.003-04:00

Slices of orange images that have filled my eyes at one time or another. In anticipation of the orange of the coming autumn.

Poppies in Spring

2008-08-13T11:52:00.004-04:00

The translucent orange of the poppy petals has always captured my eye, but I haven't had much luck growing them myself. I should try again, since I do love them, despite their short blooming time.

These were seen in a small but very nice garden in Ann Arbor. I was driving by but actually had to stop and go back so I could get out and take a few shots of them. I just love the color and the way they filter the light.

Eyes for You

2008-05-22T19:38:00.002-04:00

Originally uploaded by marylea

Jenny's Market has been a gathering place for families on the weekends. There people can buy plants, fresh eggs, and kids can see and pet farm animals or ride on a pony or hay wagon.

We stopped there one evening in April and ran into this young miniature horse. She was a little suspicious of me, but still curious. I was just curious! :-)

Lone Against the Sky

2008-05-18T16:53:00.002-04:00

Originally uploaded by marylea

Springtime, sun setting at twilight. When I see this sight, I feel so blessed, and quiet calm comes to me. It is the time when He speaks to my heart.

Transformed

2008-01-14T00:35:00.002-05:00

Shortly after the New Year, we had some snow. It provided opportunities for shoveling, and many scenic views. The rural midwest is familiar and comforting to me. It's charm speaks of hard work and character, old-fashioned qualities that never go out of style. This farm was dressed in snow.

Happy New Year 2008

2007-12-31T21:33:00.001-05:00

Silo with Vines

2007-11-12T02:17:00.001-05:00

Silo with Vines
Originally uploaded by marylea

I took a long walk with my dog one morning in early September and took some photos along the way. I love this old silo along one of the country roads we walked. Aging naturally has a beauty that can be overlooked if we aren't keen to see it.

Omar Says Goodbye

2007-06-26T19:30:00.001-04:00

Happy Morning Walk
Originally uploaded by marylea

Sad and a little melancholy today. On Monday, June 25, 2007, I lost a dear feline friend who had been with me for 15 years, longer than many of my other relationships! Omar came to our family as a kitten, rescued after being abandoned by her mother, a ferral cat. We nursed her until she could eat kitten food. My kids were in elementary school back then, and having a pet was a great thing for them, and for me.

Omar didn't like being dressed in doll clothes. She wasn't that type of cat. So we got Bailey a year later. (Baily died Mach 19, 2006.) Omar didn't care much for Bailey, who showed her far too much attention, and particularly moved in on any "favorite" spot she found to sleep. She was frequently moving to a new chair or window, only to have it encroached upon by him. We tried to keep Bailey from being so overbearing, but she was none too thrilled with him. Still, Bailey was good for the kids, and content to be dressed in doll clothes and carried by his tail if it got him attention. (And it did.)

But Omar was different, more aloof, a little more sophistocated, we told ourselves. She was an avid reader and loved the arts. Or so it seemed.

And she was a great mouser. In recent years her rodent count seemed to increase. In our new home, she had already caught three mice that got in the basement, and was working to rid the yard of these "pests". She was pretty good to leave the birds alone. By that I mean she must not have been very good at catching them, because we didn't see too many aviary casualties.

She loved the outdoors, was afraid during thunderstorms, liked her water from sink faucets, chased elastic hair ties around the house, begged for broccoli, had to be coaxed to eat turkey, preferred vegetables instead of meat (like me!), and was generally a homebody, usually nearby. If I were working in the garden, she would appear from nowhere. In cooler weather she slept indoors, recently preferring to nap on our headboard or my pillow, or on the couch in Kevin's office where the sun shines in through the window. In warm weather, she liked to be outdoors. She liked to sleep in my lap when I worked on the computer, or on the printer, if Seamus was in my lap. She adapted to Seamus' arrival to our household pretty well, and he, in turn, was good at "protecting" her if he thought she needed it.

Recently, she took walks with Seamus and me (see the above pic), keeping stride with us, although lingering behind sometimes to explore something that caught her eye, then catching up with us if we waited for her (and we did). She was spry for her age, and looked healthy.

She scrutinized strangers, keeping her affections for the chosen few, of whom we counted ourselves lucky to belong. On Saturday night, June 23, the night before she died, she slept on my chest, her purr a comfort to me as I drifted to sleep. (Seamus slept at my side...) This was something she had done since she was a kitten, and at night if she wasn't outside, she was either sleeping by my head or on my chest.

On Sunday night, she asked to go outside around 11:30pm. It was warm and clear and she liked to prowl around the yard and sleep in the culvert that runs under our driveway. Seamus and I always greeted her in the morning when we went out, and she would emerge from the culvert like it was giving birth!

But sadly, Kevin and I found her in our backyard Monday morning, the cause of her death unclear, but we suspect she tangled with another animal.

She is buried in our yard where I can be near her, and near the fields she enjoyed exploring. Please indulge me my small expression of sorrow today.

Although I work with people who are ill, and many of whom die, I never find the passing of life easy to bear, despite all the philosophizing and rationales that I review in my mind. I form attachments, and I grieve when they end. I recognize that things are impermanent here, but I do love many of the creatures with whom I share space.

After we buried her, I took a walk around the yard with Seamus, giving space for my feelings. There, Seamus noticed she had left us one last mouse outside the back sliding door... doing her best to earn her keep up to the end.

So thank you, Lord, for all the good and beautiful creatures that make our lives so rich, and let us not cling too closely to those things which are not ours at all, but Yours. Let it remind us to cling ever more closely to You.

Happy Azaleas

2007-04-22T20:31:00.001-04:00

Does life get any better than having beautiful pink blooms on a gray day?

For me, flowers are better than any other mind altering substance. They will lift my spirits, and symbolize everything that is good. They represent extravagant beauty. I would rather grow flowers than vegetables, which tells you how impractical I can be. Flowers appeal to all my senses: sight, smell, touch, hearing (the silence can be so full of thoughtful reflections that it is hardly silent at all!). (I know, there is taste, too, but for me, I don't need taste as much as the others...) I am so grateful after the many months of winter to see some color, some living things, again.

These were a gift to me this year on Easter, which, here in Michigan, was snowy and cold! What a welcome sight they were!

Today, as I post this picture, we have had a glorious day of 70 degrees and blue skies. I have been able to take a short walk outside, play with my dog and his ball, and stand barefoot in the grass. My life begins again! :-)

Hidden Mysteries

2007-04-16T19:09:00.000-04:00

Some reflections today about Easter and the Ressurection... At Easter we celebrate Jesus' victory over sin and death. I personally have always found the transition from contemplating the cross to celebrating the Ressurection more difficult. It seems to me, though, upon some reflection, that one of the most important lessons of Easter, is this: We only achieve the power of the Ressurection by embracing the mysteries of the Cross. There is no ressurection without the cross. By accepting, by embracing the cross, we conform more perfectly to Jesus' example of embracing the Father's will completely, and the true power of the Christian life can be realized. Some form of suffering is intrinsic to the Christian walk. The disciple is not greater than his Master. Part of our freedom as Christians is having the freedom to choose the way that He walked, the way of love. Suffering comes in many forms; one needn't create opportunities. If we practice the virtues, if we practice love, we will have ample opportunity to choose others over ourselves, and this is always good for the soul. For true love requires that one suffer for the sake of the one they love. It is the Pascal Mystery.

There are hidden realities that can't be seen with the unaided eye. Details of the flower that are usually invisible to me can be seen with a macro lens, opening up a world of surprise. A microscope can show us bacteria or cellular variations that we otherwise would not know existed. So too, prayer opens our eyes to spiritual realities that remain hidden if we do not exercise our spiritual senses and improve our acuity for things other-worldly. Lent offered us opportunities to see with our spiritual senses. Let's not walk away unchanged, but bring those insights with us to assist us on the road ahead.

I walked through an old cemetery this afternoon, reading names on the tombstones and reflecting on those people who have lived before me. Most of those I saw died in the mid 1800s. Considering their lives and the world in which they lived, I was struck by the hardships and frequent losses they endured. Infants and small children, young men and women of 18 were buried in this small church cemetery along with just a few who lived to be in their 50s or later. On so many of the tombstones were professions of faith, statements of their belief in the ressurection, and the eternal nature of our lives. If we stop and don't see past the deaths, we will miss the very important truth of the Ressurection. But we can't skip ahead to the Ressurection without really understanding the Cross, either...

The Ressurection is a reality which we will all know one day. To achieve it, one must accept the suffering that is inherent in this world, and live with our eyes fixed on the Kingdom which is to come.

I wish you Easter joy, and Life in His Name.

Bereft

2007-04-06T21:15:00.000-04:00

The tabernacle in the Catholic Church remains empty from the end of Holy Thursday's Mass until Easter. There is nothing to describe the loss I feel when I see the empty tabernacle in the church. I am separated from my Lord by the death He accepted on my account.

He is not there. Not physically.

On Good Friday, we are witnesses to the ultimate sacrifice that has changed the world.

"...the Lord was pleased to crush him in infirmity... through his suffering, my servant shall justify many, and their guilt he shall bear... he surrendered himself to death and was counted among the wicked; and he shall take away the sins of many, and win pardon for their offenses." -Isaiah 53:10, 11, 12

Subtle as the Breeze

2007-03-30T22:25:00.000-04:00

"And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice. And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave." I Kings 19:11-13

I've always liked this story of Elijah. It's so easy to picture him waiting to hear God's voice. It makes sense that we might expect Him to speak in the booming voice of a mighty wind, or in the powerful action of an earthquake, or in a myriad of other grand or frightening ways. But He speaks to us best in the quiet. In the still, small voice that we hear within ourselves when we seek Him humbly, open to whatever He might say.

And He spoke to us in the words and actions of His Son. Through His Son we understand more about the God who is our Creator. The One who willingly laid down His life on our behalf, to pay a debt that was too great for us to pay, to ransom our lives for Himself, and to show us the way we should live.

I draw near to Him when I contemplate His life, and when I read the lives of the Saints, and consider their example. And I find solace in the earth around me, in its myriad signs and endless evidence of a Creator that loves beauty.

The blue sky, the sight of plants and birds, the slightly warmer breeze-- all evidence that there is a change at hand. The dark of winter with grey and cold, is giving way to something new.

The Virgin Mary

2007-03-26T20:14:00.000-04:00

I love the depiction of Mary here, and her warm and tender countenance both toward her Son, and toward us. I am grateful for her intercession for my family and friends.

I am aware though, that for many, the concept of Mary, and the place she holds in the hearts of many Catholics is confusing and perhaps troubling. Mary is a type of surrogate mother, but so much more than that! I do not worship her, but I love her dearly and hold her in high regard. Jesus gave her to us as Mother, and gave us to her as children. I ask her to pray for me, and for those people that I hold dear. For just as my own mother might have been called upon when I felt the need for support, insight or some special help, so I turn to her, considering her life and devotion to Jesus.

It's difficult for me to adquately explain the Catholic's devotion to Mary. There is ample theology to explain her position in the Church. Mary does hold a highly esteemed place within our Faith, because she, apart from all others, was selected by God to be God's Mother. And she, in turn, gave her complete "Yes" to God the Father's will, graciously accepting that she was to be "Christ Bearer".

In spite of our inability to fully understand God's will for us, her example of simple faith and trust in the One who created us shows us the way. God will do what He wills if we give our assent.

Jesus did the same, humbly accepting the Father's will. We are, none of us, worthy of the high calling to which we have been called. But because of the Father's extravagent love toward us, we have been found worthy to be called his sons and daughters.

In the history of salvation, Mary is integral, and *always* points to her Son. Our devotion to her as Catholics, is because of her favored position with the Father. As our Mother, she is always disposed to help us through her intercession.

So when I entreat the communion of Saints, I am happy for Her love for me. She is not only Jesus' mother, but she is mine as well. And her prayers, together with ours, can change history.

Third Station: Jesus Falls the First Time

2007-03-21T01:41:00.001-04:00

Third Station: Jesus Falls the First Time
Originally uploaded by marylea.

We are well into Lent this year. I'm reading some inspiring books, and sharing insights with others who are doing the same.

These Stations of the Cross are chiseled into the concrete or plaster wall. The image that you see is actually created from negative space. You can place your hand into the image. The textures and depth are created by the shadow and depth of the plaster/concrete that has been removed. Quite unique and beautiful in their simplicity. The Chapel of St. Basil, University of St. Thomas, Houston, TX. February 26, 2006.

The quote below is from one of the books I am reading, from the Third week of Lent, Tuesday meditation-- "The humility of recognising the many debts we owe to God helps us to pardon and to forgive others. If we look to see what God has forgiven us, we realise that what we ought to forgive others - even in serious matters - is little..." --from Francis Fernandez, "In Conversation with God'

Francis Fernandez's daily meditations are a few pages long and reference many scriptures and spiritual writers, but especially correlate with the scripture readings for that day. I only reproduced a sentence or two that seemed to convey some of what touched me, and when I look at the cross and this particular image of Jesus falling, it makes me consider what he endured and how he has forgiven me my own (many) faults.

Waiting in Silence

2007-03-03T19:30:00.000-05:00

Waiting in Silence
Originally uploaded by marylea.

Lent began a little over a week ago, providing time for additional prayer, fasting, and reading.

I was lucky to wake early last Sunday morning to see this beautiful sunrise, and remember the line from Psalm 30, when David considers the condition of his soul, and rejoices in God's saving work.

"Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes in the morning." -Psalm 30:5

Blessings to you this season.

Spring!

2006-11-17T21:00:00.002-05:00

Today I am remembering spring.... and all the hope and joy I felt as the earth sprang to life all around me. I found this image on one of my photo CDs, taken May 1, 2006, just over six months ago. Half way through the year again, and we are seeing the end of the growing season. Instead all around us in the northern hemisphere is the coming of dormancy. The body is fading, dying perhaps, but the spirit, the real life is only sleeping. It is an opportunity for more reflection.

"Whoever seeks to preserve his life will lose it, but whoever loses it will save it."

Luke 17 (from the daily readings for today)

I wish you all a lovely Thanksgiving.

My "Boy"!

2006-11-11T11:11:00.000-05:00

My "Boy"!
Originally uploaded by marylea.

Uploaded from my cameraphone, this shot was taken in August this year. He is such a happy dog!

We went for a bracing walk in the cold rain this morning, which he enjoyed. He helps me see the world with enthusiasm. He is so much fun!

Working here at home, cleaning, packing, organizing. An overcast day outside, but there is nothing dreary inside. We are so blessed.

Pope Benedict's Remarks

2006-09-18T19:14:00.000-04:00

Celtic Cross
Originally uploaded by marylea.

If I have it right, the Pope quoted a medieval document, making the point that religious beliefs which lead to violence are misplaced. I can understand that some are offended by his reference. What I don't understand is that no one seems to find their reaction hypocritical and ironic. The visceral reaction by some within the Islamic community is the very thing which the Pope was saying is problematic. Violence will not solve our differences, although it will certainly punctuate them.

It doesn't make sense to me that voices of protest within Islam, who take offense at the Pope's remarks, can respond by calling the Pope Satan, burning his image in effigy, desicrating the American flag (the Pope is not American), torching churches in West Gaza, and vowing "war on the worshippers of the cross" (reference Reuter's news article 9/18), and then find it surprising that many in the Western world find their tactics unsavory, and misunderstand their religious views.

We are all hoping for a peaceful world in which to raise our children and live our faiths, respecting our differences. My prayer continues to be for peace. Those who speak and breathe violence do not represent the spirit of their faiths.

I love my Catholic faith and heritage. To disrespect the leader of our Church deeply offends me, and yet I am not inspired to speak of violence against them. I pray, instead for peace.

Psalm 120:2, 6
A Prayer for Deliverance

"Deliver me, O Lord, from lying lips, from a deceitful tongue...Too long I have had my dwelling among those who hate peace. I am for peace; but when I speak, they are for war."

Shades of Love

2006-08-09T19:50:00.000-04:00

Shades of Love
Originally uploaded by marylea.

More beauty discovered in a garden. The original bloom is from a garden at the University of Dallas, Church of the Incarnation.

Blue and Red

2006-05-18T00:15:00.000-04:00

Blue and Red
Originally uploaded by marylea.

These blue and red colors were vivid in my garden a couple weeks ago. Springtime and gardening rejuvinate my spirit after the long winter. Who doesn't like to see the flowers come up after the long months of winter subside?

Another month and Bethie will return home from India. We're counting the days. It isn't easy being in a foreign country, but she went to help and to learn. It will be good to welcome her home. "The Lord watches over the sojourners, he uphods the widow and the fatherlesss,..." Ps 146:9

Getting to know you...

2006-05-01T11:37:00.000-04:00

So I have not been all that successful maintaining one blog, and here I find myself with two! Not sure if this will provide a nice opportunity for my alter ego, or if it will contain more of the drivel that runs through my mind daily, or if perchance, it may be enlightening on occasion, (if only for me!).

I started into this blog world at the constant urging of my youngest daughter, who has an active life in what they call the LJ (livejournal) crowd. So my "real" journal began there. (see my first LJ post here). It was a way for our family to stay connected, and in little ways, to share what we were doing when we were all so geographically dispersed. Now, here, at blogspot, I feel I have moved to another city, and must learn to navigate this website before I will feel "at home".

Happily, I ran into old friends yesterday, who are well connected in the blogspot community, and therefore I am making a foray here.

I have errands and chores to do today, and must to them get. I'll be back.

Considerate Listener

2006-04-29T15:07:00.000-04:00

Considerate Listener
Originally uploaded by marylea.

Who doesn't like to be heard when something is on their mind?? Seamus listens to me, and considers my words. It's actually quite therapeutic to talk to him, since he does pay attention so well, and tilts his head at all the appropriate times.

"How did that make you feel?" "And then what happened??" "Do you want to throw the ball for me????!!!"

Seamus Rules!

2006-04-29T14:21:00.000-04:00

Seamus Rules!
Originally uploaded by marylea.

There's nothing like a warm spring Sunday afternoon, and a little time outside playing fetch to get the kinks out! Seamus and I play ball whenever he can convince me to take a break from my other work. And he's pretty convincing...! :-)

Now I have another blog.

2006-01-07T01:42:00.000-05:00

I don't really need another blog, but I needed an account to permit me to comment on one that was important. So now I have another blog. If only I had more to say...

;-)